Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Another Reason To Say No To Kagan

There's another reason to just say no to Elena Kagan.

No, this has nothing to do with her college paper that bemoaned the fall of socialism in early 20th century New York. You would be wrong if you thought this was yet another tirade about Comrade Kagan kicking military recruiters off of Haw-Vard's campus. Granted, these are things that should put her on an FBI watch list and not on a short list of Supreme Court candidates, but I digress. There's one big reason Elena Kagan should get the Bork treatment from the Imperial Senate.

Elena Kagan does not believe in Free Speech.

According to Politico's John Shinkle, Comrade Kagan attended a symposium at the University of Chicago (It's kinda funny how every scandal we have today has its roots in the Windy City, isn't it ?) where she called for hate speech and pornography regulation. Kagan said:

"We should be looking for new approaches, devising new arguments [for limiting pornography and "hate" speech]." She then counted herself among "those of us who favor some sort of pornography and hate speech regulation."

In other words, Inner Party member Kagan wants Big Brother to decide what is and what is not pornography, and more importantly, what is and what is not "hate" speech. (Does that word just sound too Orwellian for comfort, or what ? Jeez, I'll need a double shot of Victory Gin just to sleep tonight!) If that wasn't creepy enough, Kagan also adds "Statutes may be crafted in ways that prohibit the worst of hate speech and pornography, language that goes to sexual violence. Such statutes may still be Constitutional."

Oh sure, that would be Constitutional....in the USSR!

Here's the reality of the situation, folks. We don't want or need the government to decide what is moral or what exactly constitutes "hate" speech. Judging morality or value of speech is not a line the Big Mommy Regime in DC should cross. The obvious limit should be when someone else's rights are hindered. Note how I said hindered, and not offended. For example, I could heckle Ed Schultz for being a talentless hack all I want, but I can't enter his home to heckle him, since that would be violating his property rights. My right to Free Speech ends the moment I begin to infringe on Ed's. Obviously, Free Speech is not absolute and there are certain societal mores that need to be followed in regards to pornography. Common sense needs to be the guide, not the whims of some politician or activist leftist judge. If I don't like what someone says or does, I simply tune them out, like I tune Ed out on a daily basis. I don't need the government to shut him down, I can handle that myself. As far as porn goes, as long as it doesn't involve children, who the hell cares ? If you like porn, knock yourself out. If you don't, then don't buy it. It's that simple. Do we need the government making yet another decision for us ?

Apparently, Elana Kagan thinks so.

God help us all.

Saturday, June 26, 2010


In the latest scandal of the Obama Reign of Incompetent Terror, Chairman Obama was forced to fire General Stanley McChrystal, commander of the US forces in Afghanistan. In an aptly named article for Rolling Stone magazine named "The Runaway General", McChrystal's staff made scathing remarks about our Dear Leader's preparedness for meetings with McCrystal, the US envoys to the corrupt Afghan government, and Vice President Joe Biden.

I'll give credit where credit is due. Obama did the right thing by canning McChrystal. Civilian control of the military is one of the hallmarks of American democracy. It's what seperates from us from the military juntas we see all over the world. We can't have a commander leading troops in the field who is not on the same page as the President. This is why many famous generals, like Douglas McArthur and George Patton, have been publicly fired in the past. It is extremely dangerous to democracy to allow military commanders to do and say what they please, so let's give Chairman Obama a round of golf claps for doing the right thing for a change.


what Stanley McCrystal did was one of the most patriotic things I've ever seen.

McCrystal knew what he was doing when he let his guys spout off about the war and the incompetent civilian leadership he had to put up with. It was the easiest way to bring sorely needed attention to the war. Let's not forget, McCrystal  has watched Chairman Obama do everything but pay attention to what was going on Afghanistan. He's seen:

  • Chairman Obama spend all kinds of time pushing the Obamacareless agenda.
  • Chairman Obama go after the Olympics.
  • Chairman Obama go on the late night TV circuit.
  • Chairman Obama play crap loads of golf.
  • Chairman Obama send 10,000 troops to Haiti, which is especially galling since it was the exact same number of troops that McChrystal was shorted when he requested more troops. (He received 30,000 instead of 40,000.)
  • Chairman Obama have time for singalongs with Paul McCartney.
Remember, McChrystal is not just any general. This guy is a special forces general. Stanley McChrystal is one the best trained generals in the world. This is a guy who runs seven miles a day. This is a guy who operates on four hours a sleep a day. This is a guy who gets more done by 0600 than the average general would get done in a week. That's what makes this whole situation so understandable. Stanley McChrystal is everything Chairman Obama is not. McChrystal is organized and mission oriented. Chairman Obama....well, he let party crashers into a state dinner for India's Prime Minister and has no idea how to pronounce the word "corpsman". Oil and water would be an understatement.

McChrystal knows the danger we as a nation face in Afghanistan and the only way he could possibly get through Obama's ADD was to nail him in mouth with a crisis that would force him to act. He knew full well it would cost him his career. However, McChrystal didn't care about that. His country was more important to him. The general knew, as long as he headed the war, it would be handled with all the imagination and vigor of a government jobs program. For the sake of his men and women on the ground, McChrystal threw caution to the wind and let his guys talk frankly to Rolling Stone. Change was needed, and the only way to get that change would be to force Obama to appoint another commander. Can we say "All Time Great Patriot" ? I think we can.

God bless you, General McChrystal. More importantly--

God help us all.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Clever, Dear Leader....

But not clever enough.
Ok, everyone! Put on those tinfoil Glenn Beck hats! It's Let's Connect The Dots time!
There's a lot more than oil leaking in the Bay of Rigs. With each gallon that bleeds from the earth, We The People bleed another drop of freedom. I know, I know, I'm another teabagging, racist homophobe, but there's a question that needs to be asked, regardless of the wishes of the Big Mommy regime. (We're on to you, Inner Party Member Sunstein.) Without further ado, here it is:
  • What will happen when Blundering Pencilnecks (BP) have to file for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection ?

Now, I know there's not whole lot of sympathy out there for Blundering Pencilnecks, and you can count me among those who want to see Tony Haywood, Blundering Pencilnecks' head honcho, share a cell with Bernie Madoff. However, poop-ulist rhetoric rarely solves anything, as the election of Barack Hussein Obama has proven. We The People are about to become We The Dependent on Government For Every Blessed Thing. The federal government is about to take over the oil industry and they're doing it on the back of Blundering Pecilnecks.
I sincerely hope the scenario I'm going to present is disproven. I sincerely hope I'm wrong. However, we no longer live in a time where we can sit back and say, "It can't happen here". We now live in a time when we are obliged to say, "Well, I certainly hope that's not true."
We live in dark times, indeed.
My doomsday tale goes something like this: Blundering Pencilnecks won't be able to keep up with the pressure of coughing up cash for the disaster fund and deal with the wave of lawsuits that are to come in the weeks and months ahead. Thus, they will become insolvent. David Cameron, the British Prime Minster, will instantly blame Chairman Obama, as will the rest of the European Union. The insolvency of Blundering Pencilnecks will wreak havoc on the British economy which will make the finacial crisis in Europe instantly worse since the British economy is the glue that keeps the EU in one piece in the first place. A panic will set in that will spook the European and American markets alike.
Naturally, both the G8 and the International Monetary Fund will become highly annoyed. This sort of chaos is intolerable for the Euro-Elites who run these outfits. Thus, the IMF, who gets a good chunk of its funding from the United States, will suggest that the Big Mommy Regime bail out Blundering Pencilnecks so Europe doesn't degenerate into the Europe of 1939.  Like a collection of bobble-heads, the Big Mommy Regime will agree to the bail out, since it will be a great way to get a foot hold in the oil industry. Tax payer money will flow into Blundering Pencilnecks' coffers. Chairman Obama will then party like it's 2009 and fire the Blundering Pencilnecks' board and put his flunkies and cronies in charge.
At that point, the Regime would use the corpse of Blundering Pencilnecks to purchase the deep water rigs that were abandoned due to Chairman Obama's ill-advised moratorium. With that, the Big Mommy Regime would control a great deal of energy production in the United States. Energy prices will skyrocket as Congress would then realize they could use this control of oil as a tax. What's that you say ? We need more turtle tunnels in Florida ? We'll raise the price of gas half a penny. You're right! We should build more fish ladders in California! We'll raise gas prices by half a penny. What's that you, say ? Socialized medicine is failing ? No problem, we'll raise gas prices by a dollar or two. No one will even know that we did it.
I don't know about you, but I'm fairly certain the Big Mommy Regime is not up to the task of handling this situation in a rational manner. As John Stossel has recently pointed out, the government can't even count votes accurately. How can they possibly handle an industry ? These are the same folks who can't deliver mail. These are the same folks who gave us Amtrak. These are the same folks who count jobs that were created in imaginary Congressional districts. These are the same folks who exposed countless veterans to hepatitis and AIDS in filthy and poorly run VA hospitals. Clearly, this is a Gang That Will Never Shoot Straight. Bomb shelters, crisis gardens, and liquidating all of your assets and buying gold from Goldline has never seemed more logical, has it ?
God help us all.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

No Longer Hussein In The Membrane

A quick scan of the Rasmussen poll shows that America is no longer "Hussein in the Membrane". Obamamania has gone the way of Hulkamania, following it into the bowels of the Memory Hole of Really Bad ideas. According to the Rasmussen polls, his Imperial Chairmanship has not only lost the independent vote, but he's losing moderate Democrats as well. Normally, under different circumstances, I'd be doing my happy dance while chanting "See, I told you so!" However, I can't do that just yet, because this will make Obama more dangerous, like a wounded animal backed into a corner. (As of this writing, our Dear Leader has a 43% approval rating according to Rassmussen.)

In most cases, crappy approval ratings like this are the kiss of death to most politicians. Chairman Obama is not like other politicians. The CSPAN and lecture circuit doesn't mean squat to him. As he's claimed in the past, Obama doesn't care if he's a one-term wonder. The only thing that matters to the Dear Leader is destroying our way of life and pursuing his agenda, consequences be damned. Some members of Congress, like the Ruler of The People's Republic of Pelosi, Princess Nancy, are willing to hold hands with the Failed Messiah as he jumps off the cliff. After all, she has a parachute made up of the brains of the people of San Francisco. Dennis Kucinich will wait for the mother ship to come and beam him up. Others, like North Carolina jiu-jitsu master Bob Etheridge will fight to the last man, just ask the kid he roughed up. All and all, it seems the Progressivevik left will honor the suicide pact they made with Obama back in January of 2009.

Where will that lead us ? To the end of liberty, that's where.

As of right now, Obama Hood and his Merry Band of Socialists have nothing to fear. They know their Progressivevik tofu gooses are cooked. The handwriting has been on the Berlin Wall for months. (Just ask Evan Bayh and Bart Stupidak who cowardly jumped ship during the Obamacareless debate.) They know they're going to get slaugtered in the Midtems, so they feel they have nothing to lose. Cap and Trade ? Why not ? Fairness Doctrine ? Why not ? Card Check ? You betcha! The socialist beast will be unleashed once again, this time it will have Barry Bonds as its personal trainer. It will be bigger, uglier, have wild mood swings, and plenty of backne.

With the Midterms coming up, We The People should be looking for one word when listening to the candidates babble: repeal. Repeal of Obamacareless, the "Stimulus" plan, financial institution reform, and the coming Cap and Trade, and all the rest of the damage Obama and his cronies have done. If We The People don't hear that, then We The People should not vote for that candidate. I don't care if the candidate is a Tea Party favorite. I don't care if Sarah Palin endorsed him. I wouldn't even care if Ronald Reagan appeared to me like the way Obi-Wan appeared to Luke Skywalker and told me to vote for someone. If that person doesn't mention repealing all of Obama's socialist crap on a stick, he's not getting my vote. It's that simple. I understand that the Dear Leader won't go along with repealing anything he's done to us so far, but there are other ways to get this done, like refusing to fund these socialist missteps in the first place. The point is, We The People are no longer Hussein in The Membrane. We've woken up, and quite frankly, We The People are pissed off.

God help us all.

Friday, June 18, 2010

The Incompetent Tyranny

For the last year and a half, I have pondered the following question: Exactly what kind of a government do we have ?

One one hand, we have experienced a horrible power grab that made the Founding Fathers do 360's in their graves. We have seen:

•The Big Mommy Regime seize GM and Chrysler

•The Big Mommy Regime seize the student loan industry.

•The Big Mommy Regime seize the banking industry.

•The Big Mommy Regime seize the health care industry.

All and all, a reasonable individual not named "Olbermann" or "Maddcow" could see the handwriting on the Berlin Wall. We as a country are heading down the path to socialism, if not out and out communism. I, like many others, spent the last year and half hoarding food, building a bomb shelter, attending Tea Parties, and boring anyone who would give me 30 seconds of their time explaining the latest government plot to rob us of our freedom.

Then, it struck me. What the hell am I afraid of ? The morons in the federal government couldn't lead ants to a picnic, let alone establish the Fourth Reich. Keystone Kops on an acid trip could do a better job running the country. In addition to the abominations I've listed above, we've also seen:

•Janet From Another Planet Napolitano, the Secretary of Homeland Lack of Security, say "the system worked" after the Christmas Day Skid Mark Bomber almost blew up a plane over Detroit.

•A beer summit to smooth over Chairman Obama calling small town cops stupid.

•A Stimulus Package that included $198 million dollars for Fillipino World War II veterans.

•Turtle tunnels and fish ladders being built with Stimulus money.

So which is it ? Off to the FEMA camps for a "shower" or a rapid slide into anarchy fueled by sheer stupidity ?

Sadly, dear reader, we are on the path towards both, As Yogi Berra once famously quipped, "When you come to a crossroads, take it!" Apparently, the federal government has taken Yogi's advice to heart because that's what they're doing. Our country is becoming an Incompetent Tyranny. The government has become larger and larger while becoming less and less competent. Naturally, this trend can't continue. There will be a breaking point. I don't know what that point will be, however. Maybe it was the Bay of Rigs disater in the Gulf. Maybe it's the international incident that's on its way from Obama's gangster shakedown treatment of BP, which is not an American corporation that can be bullied like the rest of our Dear Leader's victims. Maybe Kim Jong Mentally Ill will find a missile that can reach Hawaii after all. Only The Big Conservative Upstairs can answer that, and I hope He's in a good mood when He does.

The moral to this demented tale is this: We need change. No, we're not talking about Obama's "Hopey Changey" crap on a stick, we're talking about honest to God change. We must, as Americans, reject the tyranny of the Big Mommy Regime as well as hold it accountable for its blunders. This requires some work on our part. We have to be vigilant and well informed. (You've made the first step by reading my column, so keep up the good work.) We have to resist listening to the Sarah Jessica Parkers of the world who tell us who to vote for. We have to look at our elected "leaders" once and a while and say, "Bullsh--! You work for us, not the other way around." If we don't, it will be an endless cycle of being hauled off to a FEMA camp and being released because some bureaucratic clod didn't fill out form IG-88 in triplicate.

God help us all.

(Yes, I know there are no such thing as FEMA camps. I like to say that to freak out Progressiveviks and make them huff and puff. However, we no longer no longer live in a time where we could sit back and say, "That could never happen here". We live times that require us to say: "Well, I hope that's not true. I really do".)

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Reading Between The Lines

Below is a transcript of Chairman Obama's speech on the Bay of Rigs Crisis. For your convenience, I have provided translations where appropriate, since very few people in America understand Progressivakian, Chairman Obama's native tongue. Take it away, Dear Leader:


"Good evening. As we speak, our nation faces a multitude of challenges.[that I have done nothing to solve] At home, our top priority is to recover and rebuild from a recession that [was Hitler Bush's fault.] has touched the lives of nearly every American. Abroad, our brave men and women in uniform are taking the fight to Al Qaeda wherever it exists. [and they will be court martialed if they--gasp!--give the terrorists bloody noses. I trust those damn SEALs learned their lesson.]

And tonight, I've returned from a trip to the Gulf Coast [where I played plenty of golf, don't you worry about that.] to speak with you about the battle we're waging against an oil spill that is assaulting our shores and our citizens.

On April 20, an explosion ripped through BP Deepwater Horizon drilling rig, about 40 miles off the coast of Louisiana. [Immediately, I took a nap in response.] Eleven workers lost their lives. Seventeen others were injured. And soon, nearly a mile beneath the surface of the ocean, oil began spewing into the water. [Don't worry. James Cameron and Kevin Costner are on the case.]

Because there's never been a leak this size at this depth, stopping it has tested the limits of human technology. That's why, just after the rig sank, I assembled a team of our nation's best scientists and engineers to tackle this challenge, a team led by Dr. Steven Chu, a Nobel Prize-winning physicist and our nation's secretary of energy. Scientists at our national labs and experts from academia and other oil companies have also provided ideas and advice. [That I have ignored.]

As a result of these efforts, we've directed BP to mobilize additional equipment and technology. And in the coming weeks and days, these efforts should capture up to 90 percent of the oil leaking out of the well. This is until the company finishes drilling a relief well [or files Chapter 11] later in the summer that's expected to stop the leak completely.

Already, this oil spill is the worst environmental disaster America has ever faced.[Yet, I had time for a personal serenade from Paul McCartney.] And unlike an earthquake or a hurricane, it's not a single event that does its damage in a matter of minutes or days. The millions of gallons of oil that have spilled into the Gulf of Mexico are more like an epidemic, one that we will be fighting for months and even years. [Thanks to my slow response.]

But make no mistake: We will fight this spill with everything we've got for as long it takes.[Just like we're fighting capitalism!] We will make BP pay for the damage their company has caused [and destroy our relationship with the UK.] And we will do whatever's necessary to help the Gulf Coast and its people recover from this tragedy.

Tonight, I'd like to lay out for you what our battle plan is going forward: what we're doing to clean up the oil, what we're doing to help our neighbors in the Gulf, and what we're doing to make sure that a catastrophe like this never happens again.

First, the cleanup. [That isn't happening.]

From the very beginning of this crisis, the federal government has been in charge of the largest environmental cleanup effort in our nation's history, an effort led by Adm. Thad Allen, who has almost 40 years of experience responding to disasters. [Of course, the slowness and ineptness is all Hitler Bush's fault.] We now have nearly 30,000 personnel who are working across four states to contain and clean up the oil. [Luckily, we still have a gazillion Census takers.]

Thousands of ships and other vessels are responding in the Gulf. [Except for the ones that violate the Jones Act.] And I've authorized the deployment of over 17,000 National Guard members along the coast. These servicemen and women are ready to help stop the oil from coming ashore, they're ready to help clean the beaches, train response workers, or even help with processing claims, and I urge the governors in the affected states to activate these troops as soon as possible. [And, they can even impose martial law.]

Because of our efforts, millions of gallons of oil have already been removed from the water through burning, skimming and other collection methods. [I'm from Haw-vard! Of course I know burning oil is not a method for collecting it. Er--uh--it's Hitler Bush's fault!] Over 5.5 million feet of boom has been laid across the water to block and absorb the approaching oil. We've approved the construction of new barrier islands in Louisiana to try to stop the oil before it reaches the shore, [but first, we had Bobby Jindal sacrifice his first born to me.] and we're working with Alabama, Mississippi and Florida to implement creative approaches to their unique coastlines.

As the cleanup continues, we will offer whatever additional resources and assistance hindrance our coastal states may need deserve [for daring to have a Republican governor.]

Now, a mobilization of this speed and magnitude will never be perfect, [Especially with me at the helm.] and new challenges will always arise. I saw and heard evidence of that during this trip. So if something isn't working, we want to hear about it. [Of course, that means the Tea Party should shut the hell up.] If there are problems in the operation, we will fix them. [and take months and months to do so.]

But we have to recognize that, despite our best efforts, oil has already caused damage to our coastline and its wildlife. And sadly, no matter how effective our response is, there will be more oil and more damage before this siege is done. [I'll play 18 holes in honor of this.]

That's why the second thing we're focused on is the recovery and restoration of the Gulf Coast.

You know, for generations, men and women who call this region home have made their living from the water. That living is now in jeopardy. I've talked to shrimpers and fishermen who [hated my guts in the first place] don't know how they're going to support their families this year. [Granted, they had no idea how they were going to do that in this crappy economy in the first place.] I've seen empty docks and restaurants with fewer customers, [no matter what, they'll be forced into the Obamacareless program. Let me be perfectly clear.] even in areas where the beaches are not yet affected.

I've talked to owners of shops and hotels who wonder when the tourists might start coming back.[I ignored comments about how the economy sucked before this happened.] The sadness and the anger they feel is not just about the money they've lost; it's about a wrenching anxiety that their way of life may be lost. [With a heavy heart, I told them it was Hitler Bush's fault.]

I refuse to let that happen. [Not until I've had a chance to destroy their lives with socialism first.] Tomorrow, I will meet with the chairman of BP and inform him that he is to set aside whatever resources are required to compensate the workers and business owners who have been harmed as a result of his company's recklessness. [If they don't comply, Robert Gibbs will put his boot to their necks and read them Ed Schultz's new book.]

And this fund will not be controlled by BP. In order to ensure that all legitimate claims are paid out in a fair and timely manner, the account must and will be administered by an independent third party. [Also known as the federal government, who will look at this as a windfall.]

Beyond compensating the people of the Gulf in the short term, it's also clear we need a long-term plan to restore the unique beauty and bounty of this region. The oil spill represents just the latest blow to a place that's already suffered multiple economic disasters and decades of environmental degradation that has led to disappearing wetlands and habitats. [Which was Hitler Bush's fault.]

And the region still hasn't recovered from Hurricanes Katrina and Rita. [Again, Hitler Bush.] That's why we must make a commitment to the Gulf Coast that goes beyond responding to the crisis of the moment.

I make that commitment tonight.

Earlier, I asked Ray Mabus, the secretary of the Navy, who's also a former governor of Mississippi and a son of the Gulf Coast, to develop a long-term Gulf Coast restoration plan as soon as possible. [There's no war to be fought, or anything.] The plan will be designed by states, local communities, tribes, fishermen, businesses, conservationists [also known as Enviro-Nazi special interest groups.] and other Gulf residents. And BP will pay for the impact this spill has had on the region.

The third part of our response plan is the steps we're taking to ensure that a disaster like this does not happen again.

A few months ago, I approved a proposal to consider new, limited offshore drilling under the assurance that it would be absolutely safe, that the proper technology would be in place and the necessary precautions would be taken. [Of course, with all my experience in Community Organizing, I was more than up to the task of making this decision.]

That obviously was not the case in the Deepwater Horizon rig, and I want to know why.[Those Conservative racist homophobes keep wanting to blame an "incompetent" federal government. Forgive them, Father Alinsky. They know not what they do.] The American people deserve to know why. [but of course, we'll cover it up if it makes me look bad.] The families I met with last week who lost their loved ones in the explosion, these families deserve to know why. [I'll make sure they don't know enough to sue the federal government, however.]

And so I've established a national commission to understand the causes of this disaster and offer recommendations on what additional safety and environmental standards we need to put in place. Already I've issued a six-month moratorium on deepwater drilling. ["Never let a good crisis go to waste" is more than a slogan. It's how I do business. There was no way in hell I would let this opportunity to grow government slip through my fingers. Nor would I pass up an attempt to impose Cap and Trade on America.]

I know this creates difficulty for the people who work on these rigs, [Needless, to say, I could care less.] but for the sake of their safety and for the sake of the entire region, we need to know the facts before we allow deepwater drilling to continue. [Of course other countries are free to drill in the Gulf as much as they like. They need oil more than we do.] And while I urge the commission to complete its work as quickly as possible, I expect them to do that work thoroughly and impartially. [In other words, it must make me look damn good.]

Now, one place we've already begun to take action is at the agency in charge of regulating drilling and issuing permits, known as the Minerals Management Service.

Over the last decade, this agency has become emblematic of a failed philosophy that views all regulation with hostility, a philosophy that says corporations should be allowed to play by their own rules and police themselves. [AKA Conservatives]

At this agency, industry insiders were put in charge of industry oversight. Oil companies showered regulators with gifts and favors and were essentially allowed to conduct their own safety inspections and write their own regulations. [It's sort of like Congress, minus the orgies of power-worship.]

And when Ken Salazar became my secretary of the Interior, one of his very first acts was to clean up the worst of the corruption at this agency. But it's now clear that the problem there ran much deeper and the pace of reform was just too slow. [It was Hitler Bush's--you get the hint, right ?]

And so Secretary Salazar and I are bringing in new leadership at the agency: Michael Bromwich, who was a tough federal prosecutor and inspector general. [who knows nothing about oil] And his charge over the next few months is to build an organization that acts as the oil industry's watchdog, not its partner. [Sort of like the way the press should be my watch dog, according to those homophobe racist Tea Baggers.]

So one of the lessons we've learned from this spill is that we need better regulations, better safety standards, and better enforcement when it comes to offshore drilling. [In other words, we need more government.] But a larger lesson is that, no matter how much we improve our regulation of the industry, drilling for oil these days entails greater risk.

After all, oil is a finite resource. We consume more than 20 percent of the world's oil, but have less than 2 percent of the world's oil reserves. [You people are greedy pigs!] And that's part of the reason oil companies are drilling a mile beneath the surface of the ocean: because we're running out of places to drill on land and in shallow water. [Of course, Bill Clinton bribing oil companies to drill as far away from the shore as possible with tax breaks had nothing to do with this disaster. It was Hitler Bush's fault.]

For decades, we have known the days of cheap and easily accessible oil were numbered. For decades, we've talked and talked about the need to end America's century-long addiction to fossil fuels. And for decades, we have failed to act with the sense of urgency that this challenge requires. [To tear a page from the Rahm Emmanuel play book, it was those mother f-ing Republicans! Van Jones is right! They're a--holes.]

Time and again, the path forward has been blocked, not only by oil industry lobbyists, but also by a lack of political courage and candor. [I don't care what Americans want, and I don't care how many Democrats I throw under the bus. I will have Cap and Trade and complete my dominance over the American people. Ein Volk, Ein Reich, Ein Obama.]

The consequences of our inaction are now in plain sight. Countries like China are investing in clean-energy jobs and industries that should be right here in America. [When they're not too busy drilling for oil, of course.] Each day, we send nearly $1 billion of our wealth to foreign countries for their oil. And today, as we look to the Gulf, we see an entire way of life being threatened by a menacing cloud of black crude.

We cannot consign our children to this future. [We must indoctrinate them and make them proud Obama Drones.] The tragedy unfolding on our coast is the most painful and powerful reminder yet that the time to embrace a clean-energy future is now. [Whether you like it or not.] Now is the moment for this generation to embark on a national mission to unleash America's innovation and seize control of our own destiny. [Or I'll seize it for you.]

This is not some distant vision for America. [Ever seen the movie "Nineteen Eighty-Four" ? Read the book, perhaps ?] The transition away from fossil fuels is going to take some time. But over the last year- and-a-half, we've already taken unprecedented action to jump-start the clean-energy industry.

As we speak, old factories are reopening to produce wind turbines, people are going back to work installing energy-efficient windows and small businesses are making solar panels. [and, they even sharpen the unicorns' horns while they're there!] Consumers are buying more efficient cars and trucks, and families are making their homes more energy-efficient. Scientists and researchers are discovering clean-energy technologies that someday will lead to entire new industries.

Each of us has a part to play in a new future that will benefit all of us. [Again, whether you like it or not.] As we recover from this recession, the transition to clean energy has the potential to grow our economy and create millions of jobs, but only if we accelerate that transition, only if we seize the moment, and only if we rally together and act as one nation: workers and entrepreneurs, scientists and citizens, the public and private sectors. [My many years of experience of being a street agitator will guide us, let me assure you.]

You know, when I was a candidate for this office, I laid out a set of principles that would move our country towards energy independence. [Like, $6.00 a gallon for gas, for example.] Last year, the House of Representatives acted on these principles by passing a strong and comprehensive energy and climate bill, a bill that finally makes clean energy the profitable kind of energy for America's businesses. [Reichsfuhrer-SEIU Andy Stern will there to help "motivate" businesses into doing my bidding, and Inner Party Member Sunstein will "nudge" the helpless proles into doing what I want.]

Now, there are costs associated with this transition, [There goes my tax pledge. Darn.] and there are some who believe that we can't afford those costs right now. [We can always print more money if we want to.] I say we can't afford not to change how we produce and use energy, because the long-term costs to our economy, our national security and our environment are far greater.

So I'm happy to look at other ideas and approaches from either party, as long as they seriously tackle our addiction to fossil fuels. Some have suggested raising efficiency standards in our buildings, like we did in our cars and trucks. Some believe we should set standards to ensure that more of our electricity comes from wind and solar power. Others wonder why the energy industry only spends a fraction of what the high-tech industry does on research and development, and want to rapidly boost our investments in such research and development.

All of these approaches have merit and deserve a fair hearing in the months ahead. But the one approach I will not accept is inaction. [Of course, inaction by me is acceptable, because I am Zod. Kneel! Kneel before Zod!] The one answer I will not settle for is the idea that this challenge is somehow too big and too difficult to meet.

You know, the same thing was said about our ability to produce enough planes and tanks in World War II.[When I read how Albert Speer kept those factories going....] The same thing was said about our ability to harness the science and technology to land a man safely on the surface of the moon.

And yet, time and again, we have refused to settle for the paltry limits of conventional wisdom.

Instead, what has defined us as a nation since our founding is the capacity to shape our destiny, our determination to fight for the America we want for our children. Even if we're unsure exactly what that looks like, even if we don't yet precisely know how we're going to get there, we know we'll get there.

It's a faith in the future that sustains us as a people. It is that same faith that sustains our neighbors in the Gulf right now. [Don't forget Hope and Change, or it's off to the Ministry of Love!]

Each year, at the beginning of shrimping season, the region's fishermen take part in a tradition that was brought to America long ago by fishing immigrants from Europe. It's called "The Blessing of the Fleet," and today it's a celebration where clergy from different religions [with forced integrations by my Regime.] gather to say a prayer for the safety and success of the men and women who will soon head out to sea, some for weeks at a time.

The ceremony goes on in good times and in bad. It took place after Katrina, and it took place a few weeks ago, at the beginning of the most difficult season these fishermen have ever faced.

And still, they came and they prayed. [Until the ACLU made them stop.]

For as a priest and former fisherman once said of the tradition, "The blessing is not that God has promised to remove all obstacles and dangers. The blessing is that he is with us always," a blessing that's granted "even in the midst of the storm."

The oil spill is not the last crisis America will face. [There are many eggs to cracked when you make a socialist omelette.] This nation has known hard times before, and we will surely know them again. What sees us through -- what has always seen us through -- is our strength, our resilience, and our unyielding faith that something better awaits us if we summon the courage to reach for it.

Tonight, we pray for that courage, we pray for the people of the Gulf, and we pray that a [secular] hand may guide us through the storm towards a brighter day.

Thank you, God bless you, and may God bless the United States of America."

[Or, what's left of it.]

Sunday, June 13, 2010


trend (trend)


1. The general direction in which something tends to move.

2. A general tendency or inclination. See Synonyms at tendency.

3. Current style; vogue: the latest trend in fashion.

intr.v. trend·ed, trend·ing, trends

1. To extend, incline, or veer in a specified direction: The prevailing wind trends east-northeast.

2. To show a general tendency; tend: "The gender gap was trending down" (James J. Kilpatrick).


[From Middle English trenden, to revolve, from Old English trendan.]

The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition copyright ©2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company. Updated in 2009. Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.


trend [trend]


1. general tendency or direction

2. fashion; mode


(intr) to take a certain trend

[Old English trendan to turn; related to Middle Low German trenden]

Collins English Dictionary – Complete and Unabridged © HarperCollins Publishers 1991, 1994, 1998, 2000, 2003

As we can see from the above definition, a trend is a general tendency or motion. The concept of the trend is one of rational man's greatest achievements since it gives those who analyze them correctly the power to gaze into the future with a great deal of success.

Let's look at the trend of ramapant government growth and let's see where it leads us. Before you do, please put away any sharp implements that you might use to harm yourself. This won't be pretty, or sugar-coated. Sorry.

Now, before you ho-hum, and say, "Here we go again, here comes another Right Wing Extremist talking point. Blah. Blah.Blah.", really think this through. In the last 100 years, the Big Mommy Regime has had only one response to any crisis, regardless of what party was in power, it was always more government. More control. It didn't matter if government caused the problem in the first place. It didn't matter whether the crisis was real or not. The only answer Big Mommy has ever had is more government.

Let's take a look at the trend of ever growing government:

Problem: The economy is ravaged by the Great Depression. Solution: Big Mommy establishes the Social Security Administration.

Problem: LBJ imagines there is health care crisis in America. Solution: Big Mommy establishes Medicare and Medicaid.

Problem: Jimmy Carter is helplessly hamstrung by OPEC. Solution: Big Mommy etablishes the Depatment of Energy.

Problem: The teacher unions destroy public education. Kids become stupider by the second. Solution: Big Mommy establishes the Department of Education.

Problem: The Democratic party is hijacked by the Enviro-Nazi Left, which claims the end of the world is seconds away. Solution: Big Mommy estblishes the Eniviromental Protection Agency.

Problem: Islamic terrorists fly planes into the World Trade Center and the Pentagon. Solution: Big Mommy establishes the Department of Homeland Security.

Problem: The Republican party is not popular with senior citizens. Solution: Big Mommy creates Medicare Part D.

Problem: The economy is near collapse. Solution: Big Mommy establishes the TARP slush fund.

Problem: The economy has minutes to live. Solution: Chairman Obama signs the "Stimulus" Package into law. When it fails, the socialist dominated Congress begins work on a "Jobs" bill.

Problem: The United Autoworkers Union destroys GM and Chrysler. Solution: Chairman Obama takes them over while demonizing bond holders.

Problem: The unions realize they can't afford to pay for their pensioners' health care. Solution: Chairman Obama signs into law the mystery meat known as Obamacareless that will nationalize health care and get his union allies off the hook.


Now, let's use the above trend to predict the future.

In his speech on Tuesday night, our Dear Leader will call for more goverment. He'll complain that there was't enough government regulation in the Bay of Rigs. He'll claim that there's an emergency that only more government can solve. He'll also push for Cap and Trade, or at very least, a watered down version of it. Chairman Obama will once again promote the Progressivevik orthodoxy that Big Mommy is all knowing and all seeing and that she alone has the answer to the crisis in the Gulf.

Who wants to take this bet ? I'm taking all comers.

God help us all.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Pulling Dead Rabbits Out Of Hats.....

You know, Chairman Obama is one amazing guy.

Just when you think he couldn't possibly sink any lower, just when you think he's hit rock bottom, just when you think he's reached the limit of Progressivevik sleaze, our Dear Leader pulls another dead rabbit from his hat. Chairman Obama is handing 400 million dollars of our hard earned money to the Palestinians.

Yes, you read that right. In the midst of the Gulf Coast experiencing a Book of Revelation-like disaster, Chairman Obama is handing money to the Palestinians. In the midst of towns like Elkhart, Indiana (remember all of those town hall meetings from there ?) becoming ghost towns, Obama is handing money to the Palestinians. With 9.7% unemployment in OUR country, Chairman Obama is handing 400 million dollars to the Palestinians, the same lovable bunch who cheered after 9/11. Yes, Chairman Obama is handing money to the folks who have sworn to commit genocide against the Israelis.

My angry tirade isn't just about the money. After all, Chairman Obama spends 400 million before he grabs his golf bag in the morning. In the grand scheme of things, 400 million dollars is a rounding error when you consider the trillions upon trillions of dollars of debt Obama has already heaped on me, my children, my grandchildren, and my grandchildren's children. What really bugs the crap out of me is his blatant hypocrisy. If you'll recall, Chairman Obama had plenty to say about Helen Thomas, The Wicked Witch of The Left, who thought it would be best for the Middle East if the Jews in Israel went "home" to Germany and Poland. Our Dear Leader said:

"The comments were offensive. It's a shame because Helen was somebody who had been a correspondent through I don't know how many presidents, was a real institution in Washington."

Call me crazy and off my meds, but I think handing 400 million dollars to Israel's arch enemy is far more of a slap in the face to American Jews than the comments of some senile old sea hag. In fact, Chairman Obama rubbed salt in the latest wound he's inflicted on the Jews with following comment:

"At the same time, we're doing so [controlling arm shipments into Gaza, where the local past time is shooting off missiles into heavily populated Israeli cities.] in a way that allows the people in Gaza to live out their aspirations and their dreams for both themselves and their children. And that's something we're going to spend a lot of time focusing on, and we've already begun some hardheaded discussions with the Israelis in achieving that."

Now that I've got the Jews all riled up, let's annoy the state of Arizona. Take it away, Presidente!

"...there should be some ways of keeping of focusig narrowly on arms shipments rather than focusing in a blanket way on stopping everything and then, in a piecemeal way, allowing things into Gaza."

To translate what Chairman Obama said in his native Progressivakian to everyday English, this means controlling the Gaza/ Israeli border. When was the last time we heard Chairman Obama speak so passionately about OUR border problems ? Why isn't Chairman Obama waxing eloquently about the rancher who murdered on his own land in southern Arizona by illegal aliens ? Why in the hell am I the only person saying these things ?

The bottom line is this: In 2012, we must throw Chairman Obama's presidency into the memory hole. His internationalist views are not only insulting, they are dangerous. No, I don't want the children in Gaza to starve. Yes, I, like any other rational person, want to see peace in the Middle East. However, it must be done without rewarding the terrorist acts of Hamas.

God help us all.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

A Delusional Messiah

“I was down there a month ago, before most of these talking-heads were even paying attention to the Gulf. A month ago I was meeting with fishermen down there, standing in the rain talking about what a potential crisis this could be. And I don’t sit around just talking to experts because this is a college seminar. We talked to these folks because they potentially have the best answers so I know whose ass to kick.”---Chairman Obama, attempting to shed his "President Urkel" image.

 Is it me, or is Chairman Obama becoming more and more delusional ? I'm serious. What is running through that socialist brain of his ? How can he not know what caused the oil spill in the Gulf in the first place ? Has our Dear Leader lost his mind ? We all know who to blame for this!

 If the Delusional Messiah wants to kick some anal openings, he should start with the Shame of Arkansas, Bill Clinton. Hillary's less than faithful husband actually handed tax incentives for oil companies like BP to do deep ocean drilling, according to Dickmorris.com (Let's not forget, Morris was one of Clinton's top advisors, so he was certainly in a position to know.) Why would Bubba do that ? To please the enviro-Nazi Al Snore crowd who chanted "NIMBY" while hugging trees. For those of you who don't hail from Progressivakia, that means "Not In My Back Yard". That's right, because enviro-Nazis like Barbara Streisand didn't want to look at oil rigs from their gazillion dollar beach houses, Slick Willie bribed companies like BP to engage in the risky practice of deep sea drilling, hence the disaster.

 Maybe, after his Chairmanship has had a few rounds of golf and another aged rock star gives him another serenade, he could kick his own ass. After all, Our Wise Leader claims he's been handling the Gulf Disaster since day 1, right ? That means he's responsible for the Army Corps of Engineers telling Bobby Jindal, Louisiana's heroic governor, that an evironmental study would have to be done before sand berms could be built tp protect the coastal marshlands. That also means he's responsible for the slowness, the disorganization, and the ineptness of the federal response to the Gulf Disaster. I could go on, but no one needs be accused of formenting hatred by Cass Sunstein and his Thought Police.

 God help us all.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

A Daydream....

Wouldn't this sound great if it were a televised speech made by an American President ?


Good evening, my fellow Americans. I come before you on the heels of what has been a tough couple of months. The debate is over, as my administration has sucessfully eliminated the Department of Education, the Department of Energy, the EPA, and has succeeded in securing legislation that requires a complete audit of the Fed. We are much closer today to what the Founding Fathers had in mind, than when I won election in 2012.

There is still work to be done. Yes, I walked into a mess, but you will not find me or anyone else in my administration using that as a crutch. We must move foward. I am not interested in finger pointing. If you want to help me, regardless of party, put this country back together, great. Welcome aboard. If not, get out of my way.

The next task that needs to be done is entitlement reform. I know this makes our seniors nervous. I know this is a sensitive issue. However, I must honest. We simply cannot afford the status quo anymore. Therefore, my administration is asking for the swift passage of House Bill ####, The Social Security Eligibilty Act, which raises the retirement age to 70, along with Medicare elligibility. I'm sorry. I truly wish this wasn't necessary. But we cannot just sit and wish our problems will go away. In order to leave our children and grandchildren a functioning Constitutional Republic, we must get our financial house in order. This also means passage of Senate Bill #### which will repeal the Health Care plan that was passed in 2010. When I ran for President in 2012, these were things I promised to get done upon my election. I meant what I said. If these things don't happen, I will not run for reelection in 2016. I will hold myself accountable, even if my supporters do not.

On the foreign policy front, I will not deviate from what I said on the campaign trail. I am fully prepared to withdraw the United States from the United Nations. As I have stated many times, I feel that the UN infringes on the sovereignty of the United States and our ally, Israel. All of our treaties and trade agreements with other nations will remain in place, but foreign aid to countries that are hostile to us will end immediately. I will no longer allow the American taxpayer to be forced to pay for the problems of other countries. It isn't fair, and quite frankly, we can no longer afford it. I know that will strike some as being uncaring, but I believe charity must begin at home, and with one's own money, not someone else's.

Now that the War on Terror is entering its final stages, as Osama bin Laden has been captured and executed, I am pleased to note that President Hamid Karzai has peacefully relinquished his post to his sucessor, ----------. Afghanistan is now a fully functioning democracy. This would not have been possible without the sacrifices that were made by the men and women of our Armed Forces. I couldn't be any prouder of them if I tried. We will remain vigilant to make sure those sacrifices were not made in vain and that's another reason why I want to withdraw the United States from the UN. We must have a free hand in dealing with terrorists, and we will not, under any circumstances, go back to the old way of doing things that has lead us into this preventable war in the first place. I know my policies of indefinite imprisonment of terrorists at Guantanamo Bay are not popular with my friends on the other side of the aisle, nor are they popular with the UN or the EU. That's too bad. My main job as President is to protect the American people, not make internationalists happy.

I'm also pleased to note that my economic policies have begun to work. Unemployment, at the time of my election, was at 11.5%. With the tax cuts that I have implemented, that number has gone down to 6.5%. That's certainly progress, but by no means am I satisfied. I won't be satisfied until every American who wants work has work. I will continue my efforts to keep the government out of the way of business. Does this mean I will let corporations do as they please ? No. I will hold them accountable if they cheat the American people or cause a disaster like BP did in 2010. However, I will put the "free" back in "free market capitalism". Just as the corporations have the freedom to succeed, they will have the freedom to fail. I will be more than happy to sign Senate Bill #### which will bar the United States government from owning stock in private corporations and will order the immediate liquidation of government stock in Chrysler and General Motors. That was a road America was never supposed to go down, and the double dip recession we suffered proved it.

In closing, my fellow Americans, we're on the right path. I know this hasn't been easy, but it's like my grandmother once told me: "Doing the right thing is never easy."

Thank you, and God Bless America.

The Next Holocaust

Helen Thomas, the Wicked Witch of the Left, said this about Israel:

"Tell them to get the hell out of Palestine" and that the Jews of Israel should "go home" to Germany and Poland.

Really, Helen ? Maybe you should go back to the 1930's. They miss you.

Ok...Where's the outrage from the so-called Enlightened Left ? I thought the Left was supposed to lead us into an age where we were all supposed to hold hands and sing Kumbaya. I thought they were morally superior to all of us lunatics on the Right. I thought the reign of Chairman Obama was supposed to end all of this crap. What gives ?

I'll tell you what gives. The Left is full of anti-Semites.

Full disclosure: I'm a card carrying member of the The Tribe. I did the whole Bar-Mitzvah thing. I call my mother at least once a week. I carry enough guilt on my shoulders to make Catholics look positively giddy. For the record, I even say Moses looked like Charlton Heston. Yes, Your Friendly Neighborhood Right Wing Extremist is 100% Jewish and proud of it. Even so, I'll be objective.

Back to business. Helen Thomas is not alone in her hatred of the Descendants of Abraham. There's Chairman Obama's pals Jeremiah Wright and Louis Farrakhan. We mustn't forget Rashid Khalidi, despite the wishes of the LA Slimes, and his connections to radical Islam and Chairman Obama. Speaking of connections to our Dear Leader, how about Code Pink founder and Obama bundler Jodie Evans, and former Weather Underground members Bill Ayers and Bernardine Dohrn ? That delightful trio are members of the Free Gaza movement that recently tried to ram their flotilla through the Israeli/Egyptian blockade that's designed to keep weapons and Jihadists out of Gaza. Of course, no list of anti-Semites is complete without Jesse "Hymietown" Jackson and Al "If the Jews want to get it on, they should pin their yamulkes back and come on over to my house" Sharpton.

If that's what racial enlightenment looks like, you can count me out.

The funny thing is this: You never, ever, hear these things from the Right. You don't see Glenn Beck hanging with terrorists. You don't see Sean Hannity challenging Jews to a fight. Rush Limbaugh always defends Israel's right to defend itself. Mark Levin ? Ok, weird example, but the bottom line is the fact that the Left has become the new Nazi Party right under the collective noses of the Jewish American population. (No pun intended, I can assure you.) The AMSOC Progressivevik Left is persecuting international Jewry with affluent American Jews giving them campaign donations.

The only way we, as Conservatives and Jews, can stop the next Holocaust is by raising awareness. For every Roseanne Arnold, Jerry Seinfeld, and Rahm Emmanuel they have, we need another David Horowitz, Jonah Goldberg, and Ari Fleischer. We have to hammer it into the thick skulls of America's Jews that FDR is dead and continously voting Democrat will only set the stage for the next Holocaust. We can't let things like Hillary Clinton handing 900 million dollars to HAMAS go unchallenged. We can't just look at Chairman Obama's anti-Semitic associates and shrug our shoulders. Not anymore, Boychick. It's becoming crystal clear what the Left is up to.

God help us all.

Friday, June 4, 2010

Nero Obama

“I’m not going to rest — and none of the gentlemen and women who are here are going to rest — or be satisfied until the leak is stopped at the source, the oil on the Gulf is contained and cleaned up, and the people of this region are able to go back to their lives and their livelihoods...."--- Chairman Obama

So tell me, Dear Leader, is your sing-along with Paul McCartney part of the process of cleaning up the Gulf disaster ?

See, this is personal to me. I live in Florida. I grew up here. I will die here. This is my home. I have no interest in living anywhere else. It kills me to think that Florida's beaches are about to be destroyed for years to come, and yet, our President is living it up with a live performance by Paul McCartney ? WTF ?

Does that make sense ? Even if you're an Obama drone, does that make sense ?

I understand this is a huge problem. I also understand there are no quick fixes. I get that. I understand Chairman Obama is entitled to personal time. However, personal time does not include parties. Personal time does not include rounds of golf. Not now. Schmoe Biden once famously quipped, "Now is not the time for profits". Well, Absolutely Nobama says, "Now is not the time for parties".

Beatlegate proves one thing: Chairman Obama is not fit to be President. This isn't me being a hyper-partisan Libertarian mad as hell about yet another wasteful government program, this is me being an angry Floridian who's watching a state he's called home for over 30 years enter the Third World, or at least, become Michigan South, while the President of The United States is having a party and singalongs with a geriatric hippie. We The People deserve a hell of a lot more than Chairman Obama has to offer.

The Roman Emperor Nero played his fiddle as Rome burned...Chairman Obama pretended to be a Beatle while the Gulf States were sludged over. All I can say, with a heavy, heavy heart is--

God help us all.

Especially those of us in the Gulf states.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Absolutely Nobama: The Game!

I'm feeling incredibly frisky and playful, like a Progressivevik at a Flag Burning.

Therefore, I decided, as Fringe-Extremist-In-Chief of Absolutely Nobama, we are going to play a little game. This is my favorite game as the winners are always the American people and the losers are always Chairman Obama's Big Mommy regime in Soviet controlled--er, uh, Progressivevik riddled,Washington, DC.

The name of this game is: FACT.

Don't worry. This game has no small pieces for the kiddies to choke on, and no, it's not the latest video game that will suck you into a vortex of addiction that's worse than heroin, so there will be no need for an investigation by Congress. The only thing you need to do to play this game (and win) is think.

Shall we begin ?

Chairman Obama sent more troops to Haiti (10,000) than he did to the Border (1200). FACT!

Under Chairman Obama's careful watch, we've had two sucessful terrorist attacks on US soil. (The Arkansas Army Recruiting Station Shooting and Nidal Hassan's rampage at Fort Hood.) FACT! Only Divine Intervention stopped the Christmas Day Skidmark Bomber and The NYC Car Bomber. (OOPS! I forgot! It's unpoliticalcorrecthink to mention God. Sorry. Enough with the rat mask, already. Do it to Julia!)

Now, the above are indisputable Facts. If you were to ask any FOX personality, like Glenn Beck, Bill O'Reilly, or Greta Van Susteren, they would concur, since they are FACTs. If you were to pump truth serum into Rachel Maddcow, Chrissy Matthews, and The Human Rat Keith Olberman, the would be chemically compelled to agree. Got it ? You do ? Great! You get one point for every dollar the Big Mommy Regime owes in unpaid liabilities.

The score is : 100 trillion you, Chairman Obama and the Big Mommy Regime: zilch.

Ready for the Bonus Round ? Here's the kicker! If you get this one wrong, you lose. What's that ? That's unfair ? I'm making up the rules as I go along, you say ? I'm wounded! Why, making up the rules as I went along would be terribly dishonest, like using a scandal ridden former President to offer a job to a Congressman so he would drop out of his primary race against a key political ally. We don't operate like that here at Absolutely Nobama. However, for the good of the collective, so we could give everyone a chance to win, we threw out the old rules that were written 234 year ago by a bunch of old white guys who wore wigs. Oh, yes, yes. The question is ADA compliant. Even those with limited mental facilities, like a certain gaffe-prone Vice President have a shot at getting it right.

Ready ?

For all the points and the game: Is it racist to point out the above FACTS ?

(I'm not very computer savvy, so feel free to hum the Jeopardy song.)

Oh, I'm sorry. The answer is yes, according the 30+ leftist groups that have that have written to the FCC demanding that "hate speech" (AKA FOX News, Conservative talk radio, and internet journalists like myself.) be monitored. You lose, report to Room 101!


On May 7, 2010, a coalition of 30+ leftist groups have sent a letter to the FCC demanding that they monitor "hate speech" in the media. Here's some lowlights from the letter, written by Jessica Gonzalez of the National Hispanic Media Coalition, the lead socialists in this matter. ("NHMC")

"As NHMC has awaited Commission action, hate, extremism, and misinformation have been on the rise,and even more so in the past week as the media has focused on Arizona's passage of one of the harshest pieces of anti-Latino legislation in this country's history, SB 1070." (Like, oh, I don't know, accurately stating SB 1070 is just a weaker version of the federal law already on the books.)

"Many communities and individuals do not have the information they want and need to intelligently engage in our democracy." (Gotta love that elitist attitude.)

"Studies show that media consolidation diminishes ownership opportunities for people of color and lead to less diversity of voices; this yields a media in which people of color are under and misrepresented." (Apparently, Oprah Winfey, Whoopi Goldberg, Geraldo Rivera, Juan Williams, just to name a few, are now unpersons who have fallen off the face of the ever-cooling earth. Gee, who does that sound like ? Give up ? Mark Lloyd, Chairman Obama's FCC "Diversity czar".)

"In this same atmosphere, hate speech thrives, as hate has developed as a profit-model for syndicated radio and cable television programs masquarading as 'news.' " (Who could Ms. Gonzalez be referring to here ? Rush Limbaugh ? Beck ? Levin ? Hannity ? Those who actually, pardon my use of a tired phrase, speak truth to power ?)

"The Internet gives the illusion that news sources have increased, but in fact there are fewer journalists employed now than before." (FOX News doesn't seem to have that problem. Neither does the Wall Street Journal. No layoffs at the Daily Caller to report. It seems to me that only the Progressivevik rags like the New York Times, The Miami Herald, The Boston Globe, and others like them are in trouble. I'm a happy man when "journalists" like Susan Roesgen, formerly of CNN, who got herself canned for screaming at a Tea Party protester, join America's 9.9% unemployed.)

"Moreover, on the Internet, speakers can hide in the cloak of anonymity, emboldened to say things they may not say in the public eye. Even worse, sometimes anonymous Internet speakers hold their information out as news, leaving the public with a difficult job of discerning fact from fiction." (Full disclosure: I originally wrote this column under my pen name, Anthony Digiorgio. Call me crazy and off my meds, I thought the government would retaliate against me by having the IRS audit me every five minutes or put me on the "no-fly" list. Now, I'm no longer afraid. My given name is Alan Louis Levy. So there. As far as the truth goes, remember the FACT game we just played ? Not for nothing, I've said it many times: If Big Mommy shuts down the Internet, I'll write my column by hand it nail it to a tree.)

"The current media landscape is ridden with false, misleading, divisve and dehumaizing language, some of which actually rises to the level of violence." (By golly, the NHMC is right! Keith Olbermann should not have called citizens who oppose Obamacareless selfish nor should he have called George W. Bush a war criminal. Yes, the Internet can inspire some to violence. Just ask Nidal Hassan who his Facebook buddies were. Let's not forget those G-20 riots in Pittsburgh!)

"To be clear, the NHMC is not asking -and will not ask- the Commission to compose any sort of content regulations pertaining to hate speech in the media." (Apparently, Ms. Gonzalez has never heard of Regulatory Czar Cass Sunstein. Ms Gonzalez, I'd like to introduce you to my arch-nemesis, Inner Party Member Sunstein. I'm sure the two of you will make beautiful AMSOC music together.)

"Once this information is collected, NHMC et al. will utilize the data for educational, informational, and research purposes. Specifically, NHMC will confront and educate hate distributors about the consequences of hate speech and encourage them to self regulate. (Reread the last quote repeatedly and ask yourself this question: How creepy is this ?)

"Since NHMC filed its petition in early 2009, hate, extremism, and misinformation have been on the rise." (That's totally true. Free Gaza just tried to ram a flotilla through Israel's legal and totally justifiable blockade. The Homicidal Muppet Kim Jong Mentally Ill just sank a South Korean navy ship. Nidal Hassan used Ft. Hood as a private shooting gallery. Again, let's not forget the G-20 riots.)

We could go on and on, as this Jessica Gonzalez likes to repeat herself, and I, like you, can only take so much of this. The moral to this sad little tale is this: We must guard our liberties. We must protect and cherish them, because once they're gone, they're gone for good. Free Speech is the backbone of America. We must fight tooth and nail against people like the NHMC who want to take that precious right away. I may think the HuffingtonandPuffington Post may be wrong 99.85% of the time. I may think Ed Schultz is a bleeding imbecile. I may wish Rachel Maddcow would quit mooing. But never, ever, would I expect the government to shut them down. I respect their right to be idiots. In fact, I'll go to my grave defending their right to be idiots. We The People believe in Free Speech. They The Progressiveviks do not.

God help us all.