Thursday, December 31, 2009

What Could Have Been...

For many of us, 2009 will go down as the year "The Republic Began To Crumble", to Obama and his cronies it will go down as a year of "Missed Opportunity".

Barack, you could have been a contender.

Let's think back to the campaign for a moment (Don't worry, my wife has removed any instruments from my desk that I could use to injure myself.) and let's think of Candidate Obama before he morphed into Chairman Obama. The guy had it all--A winning smile, charisma that Third World dictators envied, youth, and rabid, brainless followers. By the time the election rolled around, George Washington would have lost to Obama by three points. Take off the partisan glasses for a second and you'll realize that I'm right. The guy even had Newt Gingrich wanting to give him a chance.

Then, all of a sudden, the bottom fell out.

I don't know where Chairman Obama lost his compass. Maybe it was smashing the Stimulus Bill through CONgress. Maybe it was all of those questions about how involved Rahm Emmanuel was in the attempted sale of  his old seat in the Imperial Senate. Maybe he got a head rush bowing to the king of Saudi Arabia, but somewhere, Obama lost it.

I may not agree with anything Chairman Obama has said or done, but I find myself extremely disappointed. In the bottom of my triglyceride-laden heart, I really hoped Obama would be different. Maybe he would refuse to sign a bill with earmarks. Maybe he would stand up to the greedy lobbyists. Maybe just maybe he would change my mind and I would at least believe I wouldn't live to see the destruction of our beloved Republic. Maybe, just maybe, this would be the guy to bring even a glimmer of respect back to Washington.

Didn't happen, did it ?

Obama said no earmarks, then he signs the Omnibus bill with 9000 of them. Obama said no lobbyists, and he attempts to get Tom Daschle, lobbyist extraordinaire, appointed as HHS secretary. He promised transparency in the Obamacareless debate, and yet we have Harry Reid and others of his questionable ilk cutting secret deals like the Louisiana Purchase and the Cornhusker Kickback. Obama brought change alright, we went from sleazy to Sodom and Gamorrah. I'd be hard pressed to call that change we could all believe in.

Don't worry Presidente, there's still hope. You are at crossroads--you can either be remembered as the President who saved the Republic or you can be remembered as the worst President we've ever had (not since Carter, mind you, the worst ever. We're talking about about you being the punchline of jokes for years to come on the soup kitchen lines after your mistakes destroy our economy.)

All you have to do, Presidente is warm up your teleprompter, get behind a podium and say the following :

"My fellow Americans, I know all of you have been following the health care debates, and I understand your concerns. That is why I am officially announcing my intention to veto this bill. Make no mistake about it, our health care system is in trouble, and make no mistake, this is not a victory for the insurance companies or the opponents of reform. [Hey, you gotta let the guy save some face, right ?] I, like the rest of you, was very disappointed  in the process that was undertaken in this legislative endeavor. I have sworn an oath to defend our Constitution and that is an oath I take very seriously, as should Congress. Somewhere, we have lost our way and we need to regenerate this process. [You have absolutely no idea how hard it is to write the way this guy talks. It's stretching my considerable talent to the limit.]

When I took office, I promised transparency and accountability and so far, they've been buzzwords. No longer. I urge Congress to start over and let's give the American people the change I was elected to deliver."

If Chairman Obama were to do that, all of his sins would be forgiven and washed away. The Tea Parties would stop. There would be actual confidence in the system again. The economy would come back to life, like St. Lazarus as would his anemic approval rating. It would be, dare I say it, a "Morning in America" moment.

Ball's in your court, Presidente, what are you going to do ?

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

New Year's Resolutions

It's that time of year again: time for New Year's Resolutions. I, your humble Right Wing Extremist blogger, have some resolutions to make, and I swear (not affirm) to God Almighty that I am going to see them through. No, we're not going to blab about losing weight, quitting smoking, or swearing, either. (You want that, go to Oprah or Dr. Phil.)

Resolution #1: I will not vote for anyone who has new ideas.

Now, I understand that plays right into the stereotype MSNBC and their lackeys have of Conservatives, but really, haven't we had enough of new ideas ? Every time a politician has a new idea, it ends up costing me more money and usually fails. Let's see: We had FDR and the New Deal that was a stinker, (along with Social Security), We had LBJ and his Great Society Blunder (great call on Medicaid, huh ?), The Peanut Farmer and his Department of Education (You know, the one that churns out high school graduates that are academically inferior to Slovakian graduates.), and Medicare Part D that George Bush pretended was a Conservative idea.

The point is : We don't need any more ideas from these people. If you remove Michele Bachmann, Marsha Blackburn, Ron Paul, and Tom Coburn from CONgress and added up everyone else's IQ, you'd get a shoe size. What we need are elected officials who actually understand what powers the Constitution gives them and what the Constitution forbids them from doing. Think of the federal government as board game and the Constitution is rules printed on the inside of the top of the box. The Founding Fathers were the game's designers and I'm fairly certain they would want the rules followed, that's why they took those feather pens and wrote like demons, right ?

Resolution #2: I will have my own section in Media Matters.

This one I need some help on, folks. I will consider 2010 a banner year if those leftist dorks at Media Matters give me my own section where they try to disprove my righteousness. I'm at my happiest when liberal crybabies are throwing up their lattes in angst, so help me become viral on the web, folks! (By all means, check out my website at

The point is: I want to prove to those liberal dolts that they're outnumbered and the ice is getting thin under their feet. (And it will have nothing to do with imaginary Global Warming, either.)

Resolution #3: I will ratchet up my criticism of Chairman Obama and his socialist agenda.

I have been too easy on the guy, right ?

Alright folks, 2010 is here! Let's give the commies a year they'll never, ever forget!

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Ok...Now What ?

While we were drinking egg nog and listening to one of Uncle Bernie's made up World War II stories (You know, the one where he kills Hitler with a paper clip but has to keep it a secret under orders from Patton. C'mon! We all have an Uncle Bernie.), the United States was victimized by an act of terror. 23 year old Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab tried to blow up Northwest flight 253. He was on the terrorist watchlist but was allowed on the flight anyway. This is now the third Islamic terrorist attack we've had under Obama's less than stellar watch. (The other two in case you forgot--Abdulhakim Mujahid Muhammad who shot up an Arkansas Army recruiting station and Major Nidal Hassan, the traitor who allegedly shot and killed 13 of his fellow solidiers, one unborn child, and wounded more than two dozen more.) Whether it succeeds or not, an attack is still an attack.

Call me crazy and off my meds, but Obama's counterterrorism policies are just like his economic policies. They're impotent duds.

Believe it or not, I'm not looking at this through partisan glasses (Ignore the title of my blog and website for a second. But not to long, I value my readers.) I'm looking at this through common sense glasses. Animals like al Qaeda, the Taliban, Hamas, and Hezbollah only understand and respect one thing: brute force. They have proven, time after time, they couldn't care less about treaties or Nobel Peace of Garbage Prize speeches. They've also proven they're as tough as vending machines, too. That's why enhanced interrogation was so necessary with these blobs of human filth. They aren't going to respond to Sipowicz and Simone's good cop/bad cop routine. You're not going to have Gill Grissom collecting forensic evidence that they forgot at the crime scene. They're not going to fall for Mack Taylor's tricks in the "box", either. You need a CIA interrogator and an eery bright light and a couple of gallons of water to do the trick.

I laughed out loud when I heard that Jane Harman (S-CA) was going to head up an investigation in the matter. Not only has CONgress proven itself to be incompetent time after time, but now the CIA, through no fault of its own, has been neutered like CONgress as well. Instead of "Tell me everything you know or I'm ripping your arm off and beating you to death with it" we now have "You have the right to remain silent" and that's what Abdulmutallab will do, putting God knows how many more American lives at risk. Somehow, I don't think this is what the Founding Fathers had in mind.

I think it's high time we consider acts of terror what they really are: Acts of war. The SS was not given Due Process, they were killed on ther battlefield and if captured, held until the end of the war. Same thing with the North Koreans and North Vietmanese. Political correctness has no place on a battlefield (or in society in general, but that's not germane to our point here.). We have to treat the War on Terror as exactly as it really is: a war we can't afford to give an inch on.

Unfortunately the inches were are giving up are on American soil.

Secular Venom

When I was a kid, nothing made me angrier than the term "Do as I say, not as as I do". Nothing on God's green (and not to mention cooling) earth makes me angrier than hypocrisy, especially liberal hypocrisy.

Recently, Mary Sanchez, an opinion columnist for the dying Kansas City Star, wrote a piece called "Uganda makes Warren squirm". It gives Comrade Sanchez's thoughts about Pastor Rick Warren and how he supposedly created a created a monster in Uganda, that his Saddleback Church was responsible for Uganda's treatment of homosexuals. (Which I admit, is horrific.)

I'm not going to sit here and defend Pastor Warren. He's a big boy, and has a large enough megaphone to defend himself. Besides, that wasn't the story. The story is the attitude of liberals toward Judeo-Christian values. Let's take a look at some of the quotes from Sanchez's hit piece on the world's largest religion.

"The US Constitution trumps the Book of Leviticus."

"As part of his schtick, [Pastor Martin] Ssempa likes to burn condoms and organize anti-homosexual parades to rile up the masses."

"So often lately, Conservative Christians childishly claim the pushback they feel is anti-Christian."

"I was among the voices irked at Warren's archaic views when he was chosen to given to give the invocation at Barack Obama's inaugeral." (Who the hell did she want ? The Ayatollah or Mullah Omar ?)

"And his past statements seemingly equating homosexuality with pedophillia and incest were nothing less than repugnant."

"Here in America, one may find Warren's view of human nature and sexuality merely idiotic and annoying."

If she had written this about Islam this way, Comrade Mary would have found herself charged with a hate crime, eh ?

That brings me to my point. Why is it OK for the left to attack Judaism and Christianity, but it's never OK to comment on Islam ? After all, homosexuals in Iran would think Uganda is paradise compared to the treatment they would recieve from the Ayatollah and his death squads. I'm fairly certain Afghan children weren't forced to read Heather Has Two Mommies, either. So what gives ? Why do we have Chairman Obama blithering about "the great religion of Islam" three times in speeches (Cairo, West Point, and Oslo) but never a word about the greatness of Judaism or Christianity. Why do we have Obama making speeches at Georgetown with the Crucifix covered ? Could the left be playing Judeo-Christian beliefs against Islam ? Are they trying to profit from the incessant war between all three of the world's great religions ?

The answer is very simple. Progressive fascism can't co-exist with Judeo-Christian values. (It can't co-exist with Islam, either. The Islamic view on morals is fairly similiar to Judaism and Christianity. And, yes it is a great religion as well.) These fascists figured out long ago that they, not God Almighty, should be worshipped if they want their hairbrained schemes to be realized.

Nazi Germany was relentless in attacking churches and synagogues in the Reich. Lenin persecuted the church, as did Castro. Mao Tse Tung, Anita Dunn's favorite philospher along with Mother Teresa, simply outlawed religion, as did Kim Jong Mentally Ill. Seems to be a pattern, eh ? When God and His love are pushed away, evil always follows suit. Same can be said about Islam, too. The lunatics who strap bombs to their bodies and walk into crowded pizzerias in Tel Aviv aren't following The Prophet, they're actively opposing him. (Same deal with the Ayatollah, al Qaeda, and the Taliban.)

Religion is a great thing for mankind because it reinforces the fact there is something in this universe bigger than man. Whether that something is the God Moses found on Mount Sinai, the God Who went to His Cross for our sins, or The God Who helped the Prophet write the Holy Koran, I don't know. That's for others to explore. But I do know that all three Judaism, Christianity, and Islam were gifts given to us by our Heavenly Father. If we would attempt to learn from them, the world wouldn't be the cess pool we are living in now. That's something secular progressivism will never be able to give us.

The Cheesies

Hollywood has the Oscars for their pampered little leftists, so we here at Absolutely Nobama have decided the fascists--I mean, fascinating people who are destroying the Republic deserve recognition, too. Without further ado, I bring you the Ted Kennedy Memorial Cheese Entitlement, or the coveted Cheesie Award.

Socialist of the Year--Our Dear Leader, Chairman Barack Hussein Obama, ran away with this one, hands down. Sure, Van Jones was fun, being the first avowed communist in a US President's administration and all, but no one puts the "m" in Marxism like Chairman Obama. In less than a year, Obama has taken over two of the three major car manufacturers, the banks, and is now perched to destroy our health care system. Joseph Stalin, eat your heart out!

Arrogant Act of the Year--This one wasn't so easy. We had Schmuck Schumer screaming at a flight attendant for making him turn off his cell phone so the plane can take off. We had ol' Babs Boxer berating a US Army general and be as condescending as possible to the head of the Black Chamber of Commerce, demanding that he fall in line with NAACP. But nothing, and I do mean nothing, screams arrogance like Princess Nancy, Ruler of the People's Republic of Pelosi, calling her passing of Obamacareless "a Christmas present for the American people." The winner: Princess Nancy. It was so kind for Her Majesty to give us commoners a present like higher taxes and creeping euthanasia.

Scandal of The Year--Where or where do we begin on this one ? First there was Blaggo-gate where there was the "coincidence" of Chairman Obama's old Senate seat being sold by the disgraced former governor of Illinois. (You know, the seat Obama held for 150 days and voted "present" as much as possible.) We had the President of The United States calling small town cops stupid because they arrested his friend and an ensuing "Beer Summit" to sort it all out. We had The Stimulus Plan passed without anyone reading it. We also had "torture" photos being bandied about, but the Cheesie went to Eric Holder, our wunderkind Attorney General, and his decision to give the 9/11 plotters their day in court in New York. (Despite the fact it would give the murdering pigs Constitutional protection. Go Eric!)

Failure of The Year--We all remember the promise our Dear Leader gave us: If the Stimulus plan is passed, unemployment would be under 8%. Well, it's now at 10.2% and still climbing. The Stimulus plan was the most expensive failure in world history. It won't hold the Cheesie for very long, as Obamacareless will be about 2 trillion dollars of waste and inefficiency that will snuff out old people. I could go for a cheap laugh and mention how Obama failed to get the Olympics despite his demigodhood, but he did get the consolation prize of the Nobel Peace of Garbage Prize, so it's kind of a wash.

Village Idiot of The Year--Joe Biden. Do I really need to spell this one out ? It's kind of like saying the '72 Dolphins were a good football team or Marine boot camp is physically taxing. Barney Fwank came pretty close, not being able to tell that his special "friend" had pot plants all over the place. (Like he said he's not an outdoorsman.) But when it comes to sheer nincompoopery, there is Joe Biden the Cheesie champion.

God only knows what's in store for 2010.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Think Me Mad, Do You ?

Well, it's over.

The bad guys won and we'll have the public option and anyone over the age of 60 should look over his or her shoulder at least once a day.

Huh ? What the hell is he talking about ? The Senate killed the public option and all is well. Either you're off your meds or your tinfoil Glenn Beck hat is too tight.

Think me mad,do you ? Let's examine Chairman Obama's back door plan to run our health care and ultimately run our lives. For months, the cagey Obama and his Merry Band of Socialists have had us fooled with their feigned incompetence. (They had to be faking it! No one is this stupid naturally, right ?)

The moment Harry Reid, the reincarnation of Patton himself, announced to the media that a deal was struck and Benedict Nelson from Nebraska had sold the American people down the river for a couple a mil, it dawned on me that Obama has won and he now has his beloved public option. If you listen closely, you can hear Mao Tse Tung and Joseph Stalin applauding in Hell.

There are two ways a back door public option can happen:

Option 1: The insurance companies will be deemed "Too Big To Fail".

This may sound crazy, but those 40 million new customers will be the death of the health insurance industry as we know it. After being threatened with prison, the sheeple will start buying insurance at absurd rate, netting the big guys like United Healthcare and Aetna billions. After Uncle Sugar takes his 50% cut, Tim Geithner will slither form his hole and warn that that the insurance companies have become too big to govern themselves and the government has to take them over to "protect the economy" from another meltdown. Bingo! Ladies and gentlemen, we have our very own single payer health care plan, complete with its own built in bureaucracy! Ta-da!

Option 2: Obama and his cronies will prove the Cloward/ Piven strategy will also kill the private sector as well.

Ahh..The Cloward/Piven strategy, formulated by socialist love birds Richard Cloward and Frances Fox Piven, designed to overload bureaucracies with endless demands, will be the death of the insurance industry. Once those 40 million people get their hands on those shiny new insurance policies, guess what they'll do: take 'em out for a test ride! Doctor offices will be filled with "headaches" and "dizzy all overs". The insurance companies won't be able to handle all the new claims because there won't be enough employees to handle them. Let's not forget the fact that Obama has already scared the hell out of businesses with that Cap and Trade nonsense and Card Check, so no insurance company was looking to hire anyone. (Why would they ? They were threatened with extinction more times than Al Snore's polar bears.) Let's also not forget that tort reform was conveniently left out of Senate bill as well, so here come the lawsuits! Lawsuits against the insurance companies will spread like a plague of locusts o'er the land. I can see it from now: Chairman Obama strolling to the podium with insurance company "victims" in the background. He'll tell some half cocked story of some single mother of six being denied care because her insurance company was unable to process her claim in a timely fashion, so she assumed room temperature. (Chairman Obama will conveniently leave out the fact she died of a meth overdose or she was an illegal alien not elligible for benefits.) With a heavy heart, our Dear Leader will be forced to announce there is a crisis in health care, and he will have to institute a public option or a single payer scheme to end the crisis. Ta-da! Single payer health care for our own good.

Think me mad, do you ? Remember, this White House's favorite saying is "Nver let a good crisis go to waste."

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Time To Use Our Brains!

Some Conservatives, like Newt Gingrich, have applauded Chairman Obama's acceptance speech for the Nobel Peace Prize (You know, the prize given to Europe's favorite socialist). Apparently, none of them actually read the text or were bamboozled, when for a fleeting moment, Obama actually sounded like an American President overseas.

You may be able to fool Newt Gingrich (who's no longer on top of his game after the New York 23 debacle, it seems.) but you will never fool us here at Absolutely Nobama. Let's look at some of the more disturbing quotes from the text of the speech provided by the White House (at taxpayer's expense, of course.)

Like Mark Levin says: Cut 1! Go!

"The world may no longer shudder at the prospect of war between two nuclear powers, but proliferation may increase the risk of catastrophe."

Wrong, Presidente. I think you would benefit from sitting down with Condaleeza Rice or Hillary Clinton and allow them to explain to you that there is a very real possibility of nuclear war. If you'll recall, Kim Jong Mentally Ill, celebrated your coronation by firing off missiles like they were bottle rockets all over the Orient. Since we have troops in the region, it would also be profitable to remember there are nuclear weapons in Pakistan and India pointed at each other. I know that your naivete is charming to the Europeans and all, but haven't you forgotten Iran and their quest to build nuclear weapons ? (Assuming, of course, they haven't been already built.them.) Do you honestly believe Israel won't retaliate with nuclear weapons if Iran attacks first ? For shame, Presidente, for shame.

Cut 2! Go!

"All will have access to nuclear power..."

But not America, right, Presidente ?

Cut 3! Go!

"Most dangerously, we see it in the way religion is used to justify the murder of innocents by those who have distorted and defiled the great religion of Islam, and attacked my country from Afghanistan."

Why, that sounds like an act of war, doesn't it ? I don't have Chairman Obama's fancy shmancy law degrees, but that sure doesn't sound like a matter that should be heard in a civilian court, does it ? At the risk of being charged with a hate crime, I am forced to ask this question: Why is it always the "great religion of Islam" ? I have yet to hear the "great religion of Christianity" or the "great religion of Judaism". Dontcha just love it when he says the "great religion of Islam" and then mentions the "cruelties of the Crusades" ? It sends multicultural tingles up my leg.(Or is that diabetic neuropathy ? Maybe the Death Panel will let me find out, or maybe they won't.)

Cut 4! Go!

"That is why we must strengthen the UN and regional peace keeping...."

I can't believe Newt Gingrich and others missed that little snippet. Strengthen the UN peace keepers ? To do what, intimidate sovereign nations into going along with any drivel that comes out of Ban Ki Moon's mouth ? That sounds a little too New World Order to me. Call me crazy and off my meds, but how many innocent women and children have been raped by these UN mercenaries over the years? Thanks, but no thanks, I don't think we need those blue helmeted fascists for anything..

Cut 5! Go!

"That is why I prohibited torture. That is why I ordered the prison at Guantanamo Bay closed."

That's it! Let's give the enemy absolutely no reason to fear us at all! The job in Afghanistan is way too easy, right Presidente ? And Chris Matthews couldn't figure out why the cadets looked hostile at West Point! Do I really need to spell out how weak this makes Obama look to al Qaeda, Iran, North Korea, and everyone else who couldn't give a crap about the Geneva Convention, or pretty speeches, or cumbaya nonsense ?

At least we get our country back in three years.

The Liberals Want To Turn Us Into Cats!

I know that sounds as crazy as Barney Frank becoming next year's first round pick in the NFL draft, but let's observe the similiarities between the way I view my little fuzzballs Boots and Buddi and the way the government now views American citizens.
Despite the fact Cass Sunstein, our wunderkind Regulatory Czar, wants animals to be able to sue humans, I own two little cats. As a responsible pet owner, I am responsible for the well being of the little critters. I feed them, I give them water, provide health care to them, and I make sure their environment isn't overrun by their waste. (OK--Fine! My wife changes their litter pan! But I'm responsible for cleaning any and all cat vomit found on the carpet.),and when the time comes, put them to sleep. Now, the cats really don't do much to earn their keep since catching rodents is out of question since they were declawed. The cats simply exist and are totally dependent on my wife and I for their survival.
Just like the government wants us to depend on it for our survival.
The comparison between the welfare state being created by Obama and Merry Band of Socialists isn't so far off base, is it ? There is a growing portion of society that is becoming more and more dependent on the federal government, and that portion of the population is fast turning into governmental pets. They rely on the government for food and water, health care, shelter, and have been dutifully declawed by their "benevolent" governmental masters. (Wait until the feds get their fat, greedy paws on health care. Then we'll get to see human beings put to sleep for being too old and too sick.)
Why would they do that, you ask ? Well, that's easy. Just like Boots and Buddi give me unconditional love, the federal government wants unconditional love. Now, no one is curling up on Joe Biden's lap while he watches TV, but they want the love known as "votes" and silent, obedient, consent. If the government provides enough goodies, they'll be loved. Why would one bite the hand that's providing free food (food stamps), free or reduced rate housing (housing projects), free health care and God knows what else. (Remember when Nancy Pelosi called the health care "reform" she and her comrades were cooking up a "Christmas present for the American people." If that doesn't illustrate the arrogance of power, I don't what does. Maybe for Valentine's Day, she'll give us the gift of the Value Added Tax.)
In short, the liberals have realized that dulling the edge of the American people with entitlement after entitlement will keep them in office since most Americans will be become afraid of losing their goodies.
The declawing of the American people is even more insidious. I didn't want my cats to scatch me or the furniture, so I had them declawed. The federal government wants their pets declawed, too. That's why we have the "Diversity" Czar Mark Lloyd hatching plots to kill Conservative talk radio. That's why we have the new and bogus "hate crime" laws on the books. That's why we have liberals like Nancy Pelosi and her pal Steny Hoyer insulting Tea Party protesters. Only time will tell when this gaggle will go after the Second Amendment under some lame pretense. Maybe delcawing isn't the right word--may be it should be neutering.
Liberty and Tyranny is not just the title of Mark Levin's great book. It's the choice we have to make as Americans.

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Love & Economics

Recently, Chairman Obama had a job summit to boost his sagging poll numbers. During this photo op, he called for new ideas for creating jobs.
Being a patriotic American, I am heeding our Dear Leader's call for assistance. (No, I promise one of the ideas isn't "resign and take Joe Biden back to the loony bin". While I'm sure that would create a bull market that would dwarf anything Ronald Reagan ever could have hoped for, I realize that it would be as likely as Chris Matthews being coherent for an hour.)
Well, Presidente, since you're a busy man surrending in Afghanistan and throwing the troops in Iraq under the bus, I'll keep it short and sweet. If you're really interested in not being remembered as the worst President of all time--
It's not too late to turn this thing around. After all, Reagan had to clean up after Jimmy Carter, who handed him a steaming pile of horse puckey. He had some rough times, to be sure, in fact, his unemployment numbers were similiar to yours. Did he shred the Constitution to do it ? No. Did he quadruple the national debt and call it progress ? No. Did he pretend to be God Almighty ? No. Reagan's plan was simple and idiot proof. He cut taxes and got the hell out of the way. American ingenuity and rugged individualism took care of the rest. Reagan realized that more government is never the answer, it's the beginning of more problems.
A great economy is like a hot, steamy romance. You can't force it. You have to let it happen naturally on its own.
You see Presidente, when you try to artificially try to make someone love you, it fails. You can give her all the gifts in the world, sparing no expense whatsoever, but you can never trick her into loving you. Same thing with an economy. You can throw away as much money as you want on "stimulus" plans and "omnibus" plans, but the only thing that you'll end up growing is government and debt. Ask your new friends in Russia. They'll be the first ones to tell you that having the government in charge of the economy is a terrible idea. When a government tries to run an economy it is doomed for failure because governments don't have the drive businesses do: the magical lure of profit. That first big profit is as magical as that first kiss. You always want to come back for more.
For example, in your job summit, you blither about "moving foward"  on "an agressive agenda for energy efficiency and weatherization." You're trying too hard to get her to love you, Dear Leader. You can't lie to her, either. See, if solar panels and windfarms were even remotely profitable, they would have been all over place by now. By your own admission, weatherization and the rest of the eco-pixie dust
you've been peddling is not new technology, it's failed technology. No one wants it. I'm certain you're familiar with the terms "supply and demand". I know you went to schools that are way to left of Hugo Chavez, but I'm fairly certain you've heard of the terms. (And no, having Al Gore and the rest of his "scientist" friends at East Anglia cook up phony global warming numbers will not create demand, either.)
Just like the girl of your dreams, an economy does not like to insulted. Just like wooing that special someone, you have to woo an economy, too. For example, you get nowhere saying she looks fat today, just like you get nowhere calling profits greedy. Every time you reach into your Little Red Book and start spewing socialist propaganda, like saying you're raising taxes to help spread the wealth around, you're giving every rational person with a functioning brain yet another reason to keep their money under their mattress and not in the economy. In short, you have to tell her what she wants to hear, and if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all.
I swear to Mother Earth, Presidente, it's that easy.

An Example Not To Follow

Recently, the Swiss took time out of their busy lives of making watches and laundering drug money to have a national referendum on banning minarets, the tower like structures that mullahs use to call faithful Muslims to prayer. The vote was astoundingly approved by the citizens of Switzerland 57.5% to 42.5%. Most of the backers of the referendum cited that Muslim immigrants were not assimilating into Swiss society and the fears that Switzerland might become a Muslim nation.

The vote in itself isn't the story. After all, a vote like this would never fly in America, and rightfully so. The reaction to the vote is the real story.

The Associated Depressed has reported that the vote might be overturned by the European Court of Human rights. There's your story. An international organization overruling a sovereign nation's referendum.

But how does this affect me ? I'm not Swiss, I have no intention on becoming Swiss, and didn't they do this to themselves by becoming part of the EU and the European Council ?

Well, if anything, this fiasco underlines the danger of Barack Obama's presidency and his citizen of the world attitude. Obama is hard at work attempting to destroy our national sovereignty, and putting us in the same situation as the Swiss find themselves in now. Just look what happened at the G20 meeting with our less than illustrious Chairman representing the US. Obama agreed to a worldwide supervisory body that would flag problems in the global financial system. Mr. Transparency declined to reveal what concessions he made in our names. (On a side note-Where the hell was the Senate ? Last time I checked, they were supposed to ratify things like this. Oh, I know! They were so busy patting themselves on the back for their un-Constitutional "stimulus" package they forgot to do their Constitutional duty.) Basically, we will have foreigners making decisions about hedge funds and tax havens for US citizens, just like the European Court of Human Rights is making decisions for Switzerland.

Call me crazy and off my meds, but throwing away our sovereignty is not change anyone can believe in.

The Qualuude In Chief

After months of dithering and blithering, we finally have Chairman Obama's decision on Afghanistan.

Apparently, he has decided to use the old "Stoner On The Couch" strategy. Give a half-hearted, lazy attempt at doing something and when the attempt goes belly up, shrug your shoulders and say "I did my best, dude."

After sitting through a speech that was as interesting as watching Rachel Maddow after dropping some qualuudes, I realized something: Obama couldn't care less about winning in Afghanistan. Never once did he utter the words "victory" or "Let's give 'em hell, boys!" No, instead he threw the troops in Iraq under the bus yet again, whined about the cost, determined when he would get a yellow stripe down his back and pull the troops out of Afghanistan, and of course, attack the right.

I don't know about you, but I would have a real tough time being motivated by crap like this. You could see it on the faces of the West Point cadets who were ordered to clap enthusiastically. (The ones who managed to stay awake, of course.) You don't have to be a body language expert to realize that Chairman Obama was about as comfortable giving this speech as my cat at the vet's office. You could tell that the Failed Messiah and his nonsense were not welcome at West Point and you could also tell Obama was doing his best not to call the cadets future baby killers. The scene was about as comfortable as wearing shoes two sizes too small.

The speech started off as poorly as possible with Obama recalling the horrid events of 9/11. Even then, he couldn't bring himself to say the word terrorist. "As we know, these men belonged to al Qaeda- a group of extremists who have distorted and defiled Islam, one of the world's great religions, to justify the slaughter of innocents" Really, is there any need to get politically correct from the get go ? The Koran explicitly orders holy war on the non believers, and anyone with even one functioning brain cell knows that's the truth. I'm not saying that this should be the focus point of the war, nor do I believe that all Muslims are like the al-Qaeda creeps, but when the President of The United States is sending troops into battle, is there any reason to compliment anything about the enemy ? It's like FDR complimenting the Nazi party and saying Hitler and his goons hijacked the Nazi message of defending the middle class. We've already heard Obama's "we love Islam" rhetoric at the Cairo surrender speech, and most rational Americans realize all Muslims are not like al Qaeda. That little snippet certainly foreshadowed was coming--another excuse to bash America.

Chairman Obama, without missing a beat, reached into his anti-war past and again attacked the Iraq war as soon as he was done complimenting Islam. The only time there was any emotion in his voice is when he described the "substantial rifts between America and much of the world" Again, I have to ask: Why ? Why throw the troops in Iraq under the bus yet again ? During his critique of the Iraq war, does Chairman Obama call the troops in Iraq brave or give them a verbal pat on the back for a job well done while he and his liberal pals did their very best to undermine and slander them ? Of course not. Mother Earth forbid he should do that, or speak the obvious truth: The United States won the Iraq war. Instead, we got : "...we are bringing the Iraq war to responsible end." We are going to escalate an armed conflict with a Commander in Chief who wouldn't know a military victory if it bit him. It's kind of like hiring Joe Torre and asking him to turn around the Detroit Lions. (Or better yet, it's like hiring Barney Frank to be your financial advisor or hiring anyone from MSNBC to cover news stories without bias.) Clearly, Obama is an even worse wartime consigliere than Tom Hagen was in the Godfather part I. You can't fit a liberal peg in a Conservative hole. Obama is certainly no wartime (or peacetime, for that matter) President.

Thankfully, there was a bit of humor in the speech, and I was not forced to slash my wrists in despair. Obama actually had the nerve to complain about the 30 billion dollar price tag to wipe out al Qaeda and make sure Pakistan's nuclear weapons don't fall into the wrong hands. This from a man who has wasted 786 billion dollars on a "stimulus" plan that included 198 million dollars for Fillipino WWII veterans. This from a man who signed an Omnibus bill with 9000 earmarks. This from a man who wants to waste over two trillion dollars on a health care "reform" scheme that the majority of Americans have decided was worse than New Coke or Bud Dry. The horribly ironic thing about this is the fact that this is one of the few Constitutional proposals Obama has cooked up yet. (Presidente, I know you're a Constitutional lawyer and all, but defending our country is what you're supposed to do, unlike running banks and car companies. I'm fairly certain you learned that in Harvard.) I just couldn't help but laugh at the fact that 30 billion dollars was too much to pay for keeping nuclear weapons out of the hands of psychotic terrorists but the sky's the limit when it comes to growing government.

The laughter stopped the moment Obama uncorked the "Home in 18 months" strategy or The Stoner On The Couch Strategy. Not only is not tactically responsible to announce to the enemy what you're going to do, but it further reinforces the fact that our Commander in Chief doesn't have that "steel in his spine" that Joe Biden rambled incoherently about. Forget all of that "conditions on the ground" baloney.
Conditions on the ground will have nothing to do with any decision to withdraw. It will be more like the conditions in Rasmussen, Gallup, Zogby that will determine when the troops are coming home. The moment Cindy Sheehan shows up with all ten of MSNBC's hard core viewers at the White House gates, Obama will be pulling the plug faster on this faster than Ezekiel Emannuel on a dementia patient.

Lastly, there was Obama's attack on the right, Obama's second favorite target, next to George Bush. In a speech that should have got the military all ginned up and ready for battle, we got: "But I also know that we, as a country, cannot sustain our leadership nor navigate the momentous challenges of our time if we allow ourselves to be split asunder by the same rancor and cynicism and partisanship that has in recent times poisoned our national discourse." Well, this is probably the worst line ever spoken in a political speech since Bush's "Mission Accomplished" fiasco and as hypocritical as Tiger Woods giving marriage counseling. If Obama thinks he's going to all of a sudden be looked at as the new FDR, he's sadly mistaken. (Don't get me wrong, on social and political issues, I couldn't disagree with Roosevelt more if I tried. However, this nation owes its continued existence to Franklin Delano Roosevelt's superhuman leadership during World War II. Liberal tyrant or not, he was one of the greatest Presidents of all time.) If Obama thinks he's going to use these brave men and women as pawns to shove his socialist nonsense down our throats, he better think again. Just like the cadets bored to death at the West Point speech, all of us rancorous, cynical partisans are on to Chairman Obama's scam and we aren't giving in.

I will always support our troops no matter what the mission is. I will never, ever, diminish in any way anything they ever do in defending our country or our cherished freedoms. These young men and women deserve no less from every American whether liberal or Conservative.

The same does not go for their civilian leaders.