Wouldn't this sound great if it were a televised speech made by an American President ?
Good evening, my fellow Americans. I come before you on the heels of what has been a tough couple of months. The debate is over, as my administration has sucessfully eliminated the Department of Education, the Department of Energy, the EPA, and has succeeded in securing legislation that requires a complete audit of the Fed. We are much closer today to what the Founding Fathers had in mind, than when I won election in 2012.
There is still work to be done. Yes, I walked into a mess, but you will not find me or anyone else in my administration using that as a crutch. We must move foward. I am not interested in finger pointing. If you want to help me, regardless of party, put this country back together, great. Welcome aboard. If not, get out of my way.
The next task that needs to be done is entitlement reform. I know this makes our seniors nervous. I know this is a sensitive issue. However, I must honest. We simply cannot afford the status quo anymore. Therefore, my administration is asking for the swift passage of House Bill ####, The Social Security Eligibilty Act, which raises the retirement age to 70, along with Medicare elligibility. I'm sorry. I truly wish this wasn't necessary. But we cannot just sit and wish our problems will go away. In order to leave our children and grandchildren a functioning Constitutional Republic, we must get our financial house in order. This also means passage of Senate Bill #### which will repeal the Health Care plan that was passed in 2010. When I ran for President in 2012, these were things I promised to get done upon my election. I meant what I said. If these things don't happen, I will not run for reelection in 2016. I will hold myself accountable, even if my supporters do not.
On the foreign policy front, I will not deviate from what I said on the campaign trail. I am fully prepared to withdraw the United States from the United Nations. As I have stated many times, I feel that the UN infringes on the sovereignty of the United States and our ally, Israel. All of our treaties and trade agreements with other nations will remain in place, but foreign aid to countries that are hostile to us will end immediately. I will no longer allow the American taxpayer to be forced to pay for the problems of other countries. It isn't fair, and quite frankly, we can no longer afford it. I know that will strike some as being uncaring, but I believe charity must begin at home, and with one's own money, not someone else's.
Now that the War on Terror is entering its final stages, as Osama bin Laden has been captured and executed, I am pleased to note that President Hamid Karzai has peacefully relinquished his post to his sucessor, ----------. Afghanistan is now a fully functioning democracy. This would not have been possible without the sacrifices that were made by the men and women of our Armed Forces. I couldn't be any prouder of them if I tried. We will remain vigilant to make sure those sacrifices were not made in vain and that's another reason why I want to withdraw the United States from the UN. We must have a free hand in dealing with terrorists, and we will not, under any circumstances, go back to the old way of doing things that has lead us into this preventable war in the first place. I know my policies of indefinite imprisonment of terrorists at Guantanamo Bay are not popular with my friends on the other side of the aisle, nor are they popular with the UN or the EU. That's too bad. My main job as President is to protect the American people, not make internationalists happy.
I'm also pleased to note that my economic policies have begun to work. Unemployment, at the time of my election, was at 11.5%. With the tax cuts that I have implemented, that number has gone down to 6.5%. That's certainly progress, but by no means am I satisfied. I won't be satisfied until every American who wants work has work. I will continue my efforts to keep the government out of the way of business. Does this mean I will let corporations do as they please ? No. I will hold them accountable if they cheat the American people or cause a disaster like BP did in 2010. However, I will put the "free" back in "free market capitalism". Just as the corporations have the freedom to succeed, they will have the freedom to fail. I will be more than happy to sign Senate Bill #### which will bar the United States government from owning stock in private corporations and will order the immediate liquidation of government stock in Chrysler and General Motors. That was a road America was never supposed to go down, and the double dip recession we suffered proved it.
In closing, my fellow Americans, we're on the right path. I know this hasn't been easy, but it's like my grandmother once told me: "Doing the right thing is never easy."
Thank you, and God Bless America.