Saturday, December 26, 2009

The Cheesies

Hollywood has the Oscars for their pampered little leftists, so we here at Absolutely Nobama have decided the fascists--I mean, fascinating people who are destroying the Republic deserve recognition, too. Without further ado, I bring you the Ted Kennedy Memorial Cheese Entitlement, or the coveted Cheesie Award.

Socialist of the Year--Our Dear Leader, Chairman Barack Hussein Obama, ran away with this one, hands down. Sure, Van Jones was fun, being the first avowed communist in a US President's administration and all, but no one puts the "m" in Marxism like Chairman Obama. In less than a year, Obama has taken over two of the three major car manufacturers, the banks, and is now perched to destroy our health care system. Joseph Stalin, eat your heart out!

Arrogant Act of the Year--This one wasn't so easy. We had Schmuck Schumer screaming at a flight attendant for making him turn off his cell phone so the plane can take off. We had ol' Babs Boxer berating a US Army general and be as condescending as possible to the head of the Black Chamber of Commerce, demanding that he fall in line with NAACP. But nothing, and I do mean nothing, screams arrogance like Princess Nancy, Ruler of the People's Republic of Pelosi, calling her passing of Obamacareless "a Christmas present for the American people." The winner: Princess Nancy. It was so kind for Her Majesty to give us commoners a present like higher taxes and creeping euthanasia.

Scandal of The Year--Where or where do we begin on this one ? First there was Blaggo-gate where there was the "coincidence" of Chairman Obama's old Senate seat being sold by the disgraced former governor of Illinois. (You know, the seat Obama held for 150 days and voted "present" as much as possible.) We had the President of The United States calling small town cops stupid because they arrested his friend and an ensuing "Beer Summit" to sort it all out. We had The Stimulus Plan passed without anyone reading it. We also had "torture" photos being bandied about, but the Cheesie went to Eric Holder, our wunderkind Attorney General, and his decision to give the 9/11 plotters their day in court in New York. (Despite the fact it would give the murdering pigs Constitutional protection. Go Eric!)

Failure of The Year--We all remember the promise our Dear Leader gave us: If the Stimulus plan is passed, unemployment would be under 8%. Well, it's now at 10.2% and still climbing. The Stimulus plan was the most expensive failure in world history. It won't hold the Cheesie for very long, as Obamacareless will be about 2 trillion dollars of waste and inefficiency that will snuff out old people. I could go for a cheap laugh and mention how Obama failed to get the Olympics despite his demigodhood, but he did get the consolation prize of the Nobel Peace of Garbage Prize, so it's kind of a wash.

Village Idiot of The Year--Joe Biden. Do I really need to spell this one out ? It's kind of like saying the '72 Dolphins were a good football team or Marine boot camp is physically taxing. Barney Fwank came pretty close, not being able to tell that his special "friend" had pot plants all over the place. (Like he said he's not an outdoorsman.) But when it comes to sheer nincompoopery, there is Joe Biden the Cheesie champion.

God only knows what's in store for 2010.

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