Saturday, March 27, 2010

That Hopey Changey Crap

My favorite Sarah Palin-ism is "How's that Hopey Changey thing working out for ya ?" It's a polite way of saying "You voted for a socialist, you idiots." (I, being the miserable old Conservative that I am, would use much, much stronger language if I were allowed to.)

Well, how's that Hopey Changey thing really working out in some of Chairman Obama's stronghold states.? I had my lovely and talented assistant, Absolutely Nograhamnesty, work a little OT and this is what she found out.

Let's be fair and start with my beloved Florida, who helped Chairman Obama into power by handing him 51% of the vote over the old sourpuss, John McPain. As of February 2010's stats, Florida has its highest unemployment rate in its history at 12.2%. Under the evil George W. Hitler, in May of 2006, Florida had its lowest unemployment rate in its history at 3.3%. Hey, my fellow plastic white shoe wearers, how's that Hopey Changey thing working out for us ?

The lamestream media was all a-buzz after the Obamgasm in Virginia, in which the venerable state gave the future dictator 53% of the vote. The leftist pundits declared that Virginia was just as socialist as, say, California. (Believe me, we'll get to the Land of Fruits and Nuts shortly. There's no way in hell I'm letting those nincompoops off the hook.) What has happened since election night ? Virginia had the living sh-- scared out of them by Obama's socialist rhetoric, that's what. They immediately elected as governor Bob McDonnell, a man so Conservative, Rush Limbaugh calls him "sir". Virginia has no patience for that Hopey Changey thing, that's for sure. As of this writing, Governor McDonnell has signed a bill that outlaws Obamacareless in Virginia and is currently locking horns with the federal government. Ah, Thomas Jefferson would be proud.

The Soprano State of New Jersey, as was expected, rolled over for Obama in the '08 Selection. They too, realized what a big mistake our Dear Leader was and did not want to get the Ol' Bada Bing under the weight of Obama's socialist schemes. Their response to the creeping fascism of the Obama regime ? Bright Blue Jersey elected Chris Christie, the largest Republican in captivity. What has Christie done since his miracle victory over the hated Jon Corzine ? He's been busy slashing budgets like a coked out samurai warrior, much to the delight of his constituents. The Soprano State gave the Hopey Changey thing the Luca Brasi treatment.

Then, there's Kennedychusetts, the land where Camelot was born. After Teddy assumed room temperature, it was a given that some other Progressivevik would take his place. After all, Kennedychusetts had been hands down taken by Obama with a whopping 62% percent of the vote during the '08 Popularity Contest. Well, the spirit of the American Revolution hasn't quite died yet in Kennedychusetts. Scott Brown and that damn pick up truck wiped the mat with Marcia/Martha (I'm still waiting Congressman Kennedy. What was her name again ?) in the special election to replace the Chappaquidick Murderer. See, the folks in Kennedychusetts are more than just Red Sox fans. They realized full well that Obamacare was just a repeat of what they already had and hated. It would be just an unnecessary, brutal tax. So, they elected Scott Brown fully expecting him to be the 41st vote killing the monstrosity known as Obamacareless once and for all. Natually, Chairman Obama and his Merry Band of Socilaists ignored the will of the people and shoved it through, anyway. Tell me Kennedychusetts, how's that Hopey-Changey thing working out for you ?

Then, there's beautiful Nevada. The bright lights of Vegas handed Obama a 55% of their votes. Unfortunately, the marriage between Nevada and the Democrat party has been rocky, sort of like the marriage of Ace Rothstein and Ginger in Casino. Most of the state wants put the Democrat party in a hole in the desert. Harry "I Surrender" Reid would need to gain 10 points just have his approval rating aproach

anemic. Chairman Obama has twice insulted the city of Las Vegas prompting mayor Oscar Goodman (who was also in Casino) to proclaim that our Dear Leader was no longer welcome in his city. I guess Chairman Obama will have to go to Atlantic City to get comped. Oh, wait, Jersey's had enough of him, too. As of February 2010's stats, Nevada has its highest unemployment rate ever of 13.2%. So tell me, Nevada, is that Hopey Changey thing blackjack or a bust ? You can't even call it a push.

Hey, Indiana! You elected his Socialistship with 50% of your votes, right ? How's that Hopey Changey thing working out in Elkhart ? Yeah, I know, crappy, kind of like the performance Peyton Manning turned in against the Saints. That medical device tax in the Obamacareless scheme will work wonders for that 9.8 unemployment rate you have now. Tell me Elkhart, how's that Hopey Changey thing working out for you ? Do you like being the poster town of Feeding America public service announcements ?

There's the late, great state of Michigan. Things are miserable there. Things are so bad that the SilverDome sold for only $583,000! The unemployment rate is at a Depression-like 14.1%, despite the fact that Big Mommy bought two of the Mediocre Three car companies. Of course, Michigan voted for Chairman Obama at a 57% clip, since it's in the Third World and appreciated Obama's Third World politics. Well, now, how's that Hopey Changey thing working out for you ? From all appearances, it's miserable like the Detroit Lions and Tigers. Here's something for you to think about while you're waiting on line for "Obama money"( like in the infamous sound bite). They're building car manufacturing Joe Biden's home state of Delaware. I know you need the unions to do all your thinking, Michigan, but really, how's that Hopey Changey thing working out for you ?

Finally, there's California, the state that's even more broke than your Uncle Ralph with that pesky gambling problem. I don't even know where to begin. This is the state that gave us the joys of watching Babs Boxer and the Plastic Surgery Disaster Nancy Pelosi in action. Sure, they have a Republican governor that Mark Levin lovingly nicknamed "The Jerkinator". California has its highest ever unemployment rate of 12.5, according to their February 2010 statistics. The federal government has turned off the water pumps in the San Joaquim Valley, the most fertile land on earth to save the Delta Smelt, forcing farms to close, and get this, to import food to feed farm workers. Businesses are leaving in droves and the state handed out IOU's instead of tax refunds. Really, Cali, put down the bong for a second and tell me: How's that Hopey Changey thing working out for you ?

Tell me America...How's that Hopey Changey thing working out for all of us ?

Sources: CNN election map and Bureau of Labor Statistics

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