Friday, February 12, 2010

Goober Strikes Again

At a press conference this week, Propaganda Minister Robert Gibbs, affectionately known as "Goober" here at Absolutely Nobama, wrote gibberish on his hand to mock Sarah Palin, who wrote notes on her hand before a major speech at the Tea Party Convention, in a lame attempt at humor.

This really annoyed me. Not just because I support Governor Palin, but this kind of buffoonery was done while the country was circling the bowl. It was surreal. It was like watching a football team that was down 35-0 in the first quarter cheering that they gained a first down.
Last time I checked, Goober and his master, Chairman Obama, have made the the Keystone Cops look competent.

Hey Goobs, before you try to make Sarah Palin look stupid again, you might want to keep the following in mind:

--Chairman Obama didn't look very smart when he called the Cambridge police officers who arrested Henry Louis Gates for acting like a loon stupid.

--Chairman Obama looked very un-Messiah like when he made fun of the Special Olympics on The Jay Leno show.

--What happened to the 2016 Olympics ? How did a third world country get the Olympics before the most powerful nation on God's green (and not to mention cooling) earth ?

--I thought unemployment wasn't supposed to go over 8%. What gives ? It's at 9.7%!

--It is generally unwise to appoint communists like Van Jones as a Czar. (Did I mention that they're UNELECTED ? And, by the way, does anyone at the Oval Orifice know how to use Google ? One Google check and I'm fairly certain Comrade Jones or Eugenicist Holdren would not have been appointed to any sort of Czar position. They'd be on some sort of watch list instead.)

--Corpsman is pronounced "core-man" not "corpse-man".

--Austria's official language is German, not "Austrian." There is an Austrian dialect to be sure, but it is not a distinct language.

--There are 50 states, not 57. Don't they teach geography at Haw-vard anymore ?

--You can't play CD's made in America on British DVD players. (What happened ? The cheapskate couldn't buy Blu-Rays for the Queen of England ? I guess chivalry is dead, after all.)

--It is a serious breach of protocol for the President of The United States to bow to foreign monarchs. Last time I checked, we fought a Revolutionary War so we as Americans would never be forced to be bow to anyone. Call me crazy and off my meds.

--It has been over a year and Gitmo is still open. (Thank God!)

--Have you ever met our Vice President "Paying Taxes Is Patriotic" Biden ? This guy makes Ed Schultz look like a Rhodes Scholar.

We could go on, Goober, but let's face facts: This is too much non-spin, unadulterated truth for you. If you were to read too much of it, your brain would shut down and we might not have anyone as comical to replace you with. (And Rahm Emmanuel might call you "f-ing retarded" and hurt your feelings.)

In closing ,Goober, you and your boss might want to accomplish more than allowing party crashers to crash a state dinner with a foreign head of state in attendance before you criticize others for paying attention to detail.

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