Time To Be Controversial!

I'm going to save the dorks at Media Matters, Moveon.org, and every other leftist group some time. After all, they're very busy undermining America, so their time is valuable. Here we go: The author of Absolutely Nobama is a racist, a homophobe, and a greedy capitalist. He probably doesn't recycle. He should be charged with a hate crime, dammit!




Now, why would my pals on the left think that way ? The answer is easy. The United States government should not be helping Haiti.



Oh my--Where's Eric Holder ? Cuff him! Cuff him! Send him to a political re-education camp! That'll show him!



Now, I didn't say America shouldn't help Haiti, I said the monolithic, bloated federal government should not be helping Haiti. In fact, I lost my lunch when Chairman Obama said Haiti had the "full support" of the federal government.



Gee, wouldn't it be swell if Chairman Obama felt that way about the troops ? Small business owners ? Us working slobs working who work for the small business owners ? To quote Glenn Beck: "Really ?"



I don't know if you've heard, but our beloved Republic is broke. We simply can't afford to have Uncle Sugar dump all kinds of cash into Haiti. I know that's a horrible way to look at this, but it's unfortunately true. The United States is trillions upon trillions of dollars in debt. According to Debtclock.org, the United States government has over 100 trillion dollars in unpaid liabilities. There isn't enough wealth on the planet to even remotely pay this debt. I know, I know, lives are more important than money, but charity must start at home. You can't go making donations when the bank is coming to foreclose on you.



Another thing Chairman Obama has failed to consider is the fact that we can't divert resources from the military for this effort. I know this isn't Obambi's favorite subject, but we are involved in two wars. Those wars are stretching the military thin, dangerously thin. I know Obama is trying to be buddy-buddy with everyone, but we still have to keep our eyes on Kim Jong Mentally Ill and Adolf Ahmadinejad. Citgo Chavez is dumb enough to be dangerous and Raul may not be Fidel, but I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him. Oh yeah, let's not forget warm and cuddly al-Qaeda. Call me crazy and off my meds, but wouldn't you say the military has more than enough to do ? It's not like they're cutting out early on Fridays, you know. What national security aims will be met by the inevitable troop deployment that's around the corner ? And yes, the troops will be thrown into harm's way when the rioting and the complimentary civil war begins.



Now call me cynical, but wasn't the United Nations supposed to fix the infrastructure of Haiti ? How many billions of dollars has the United Nations wasted of American taxpayer money trying to have Haiti join the eighteenth century ? How many more billions will they waste now ? It's a galling thought considering the fact the American people are in for a very rude awakening when the tax man comes next year after Obamacareless is shoved down their throats. The fact that my money is being thrown away by the federal government is bad enough. The fact that my money will be thrown away by Haiti's government is beyond contempt. At very least, the American taxpayer has the right to insist that corrupt American politicians waste their money, not corrupt foreign politicians. By the way, where in the Constitution does it say that Congress has the right to be the world's insurance man ? Is it me or is it every time there's a natural disaster the American taxpayer is footing the bill ? I'm all about being charitable, but not with Uncle Sugar holding a gun to my head forcing me to be charitable.



There is a way to help the people in Haiti, as human conscience compels us to do. Charities. I can gurantee that the Red Cross or Red Crescent would do a hell of a lot better job than the federal government would. (A crazy thought, I know, since FEMA did such a bang up job in New Orleans after Katrina.) I'm fairly certain Catholic Charities would do a way better job than UNICEF or any of the other acronyms the UN will send into Haiti. The UN peacekeepers can stay, but they have to promise not to rape the locals. Raul and ol' Citgo can help if they want, but they must be reminded that if they get too adventurous, it will be considered an act of war against the United States and also a crime against humanity.



Ok, Hatemonger! Where are the charities getting the money for this ?



That's easy, America.



But you just wrote an entire paragraph of hatespeech screaming how the federal government is broke! Make up your mind, you Conservative fascist!



Contrary to what Chairman Obama thinks, the United States is the most charitable country in humanity's sad and demented history. The American people will give willingly to help the people of Haiti. It's in our DNA and that's how we roll. What Obama Hood and his Merry Band of Socialists could do if they really wanted to help Haiti and not pretend to help is create a really large tax deduction for donations to actually help Haiti. Yes, they would have to spend less to make up the short fall (Stop it! It not THAT funny!) or kill a few worthless programs. (I'm serious! Stop laughing!) Since the government would feel the need to do something, they could monitor the donation money and keep it free from fraud and abuse. (Sort of like they do with Medicare and Medicaid. Ok, now you can laugh.) Seriously, that kind of money would need to be watched and and watched closely. In other words, the UN will have to be kept out of the loop entirely.



Want to really earn that Nobel Peace Prize, Chairman Obama ? Here's your chance.