Friday, April 9, 2010

Another Sign We Are Winning

It's pretty easy these days if you're a Conservative, to want to slash your wrists in a nice warm bath, ala Frank Pantangili in Godfather II.


After all, we've seen Chairman Obama's Big Mommy REGIME take over the health care, car manufacturers, student loans, and the banks. We have the constant threat of Card Check looming over our heads. We have traitors like Lindsey Grahamnesty and John McPain ready to sell us down the river with Cap and Traitor and amnesty. We have our Dear Leader trying to unilaterally disarm our country with his Defenseless on Demand treaty with the Russians. (The new DOD.) It's pretty easy to want to off yourself before the death panels do it for you.



Well, don't down that bottle of pills just yet. We are winning some of these battles against AMSOC. Naturally, the state controlled press won't tell you about them, but I will, regardless of whether or not Schmuck Schumer thinks I'm a journalist. I will tell you all about them in the face of the Fairness Doctrine or Net Neutrality. I'll even tell you about these victories while giving FCC Diversity Czar Mark Lloyd the social finger. Why, I'll even do it while mooning Cass Sunstein.



If we're kicking Progressivevik rectums anywhere, we're doing it in their house, the holiest of all holies, the public schools. That's right, the grouchy Conservative underground is taking back our schools from the socialist hands of the teacher unions, just like we took back our history and our textbooks in Texas. (For more on this, check out my column A Texas Sized Boot In The Rear at absolutely nobama.com in the blog section.) We're also giving the Overbearing Opposition nervous diarrhea here in sunny Florida. With HB 7189 and Senate Bill 6, we here in Florida are taking back our schools by ending tenure for lazy, entitled teachers and forcing them to actually do the job they're paid to do by enacting merit pay standards and providing mechanisms to can teachers who aren't up to snuff.



In other words, they'll have to perform, just like the rest of us do in the private sector.



Naturally, this doesn't sit well with the unions. After all, their motto is "I'll start representing school children when they start paying union dues." (Right, Albert Shanker ?) The Progressivevik "educators" immediately took to the streets of Tallahassee with misspelled signs and signs in Spanish. "The bill is harmful and scary" they moaned between bong hits. "It will destroy public education" they cried after an acid bump. Bizzy Jenkins, an AP art teacher at Cypress Bay High School, (which, oddly enough, is in Inner Party member Debbie Wasserman-Schultz's district.) said "I think it's just horrific that they could even think to do this. I could have a profound influence on a student, but if a few students do very poorly, I could lose my job." That's right folks, the teachers aren't at all worried about the fact that they turn out high school graduates that are only qualified to work the shake machine at McDonald's or march in San Francisco at some GreenPeace rally. That's never an issue. The only thing that's an issue that we have entitled, lazy teachers that want to be treated like selfless martyrs who deserve lifelong job security with pensions that would put the Post Office's to shame.



It may sound like I have an axe to grind. Well, I won't beat around the bush. I do. My thirteen years as a victim in Florida's public school system give me a right to be a critic. I can honestly say that not one of my teachers from Kindergarten to to my senior year in high school had any profound effect on me. Looking back, I don't know how they slept at night collecting pay checks they didn't even remotely earn. Sure, I learned all about how Heather Has Two Mommies and how to put a condom on a banana, but in college, I had to take remedial algebra classes because the skills of putting condoms on bananas and calling Columbus a genocidal homophobe were far more important than mathematics.



We, as the taxpayers footing the bill, deserve a hell of a lot more bang for the buck, especially since Chairman Obama's Big Mommy REGIME is taking more and more out of our pockets. We, as citizens, have every right to expect that our employees, the teachers, are paid professionals. We, as citizens, have a right to demand that our public school system turn out functioning adults. We're forced into paying for it, so why can't we have quality ?



(As a side note, Charlie Crist, our "Republican" governor and candidate for the Imperial Senate, is considering vetoing these important reforms. Now, I don't normally stump for candidates, but this is a pretty good reason to vote for Marco Rubio, isn't it ?)

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