Sunday, December 26, 2010

The 2010 Cheesie Awards

Well, fellow Right Wing Extremists (in other words, anyone who has proven to be immune to the words "Hope and Change"), it's that time of year again. It's time for the 2010 Second Annual Edward Kennedy Memorial Government Cheese Awards, also known as the Cheesies. Without further ado---


Our first Cheesie category is : Pieces of Plastic That Best Imitate Politicians....and the winners are...oh, this is weird...there are two winners! Rectal Itch McConnell and Gingerbread Man Boehner!

Without any regard to the results of the Midterm Massacre, the Gingerbread Man and the Itch folded their tents and agreed to the Not-So-Great Tax Compromise of 2010. In order to keep the Bush Tax Cuts around, the Itch and Gingerbread Man agreed to raise to the Death Tax from 0% to 35% and add on another 13 months of funemployment. Oh yes, these "Republican" leaders did a fine job indeed in helping Chairman Obama add another $900 Billion to the national debt. Cheesie worthy, to say the least!


The second Cheesie category is : The Lamestream Media is Lame Indeed...and the winner is...the talentless hack known as Keith Olbermann!

Here's an award to put next to your next to your unearned Murrow, Keith! Night after night in 2010, Olbermann ranted and raved to his twelve viewers about how the evil FOX News was allowing its contributors and opinion show hosts to donate to political causes and candidates. For a fleeting microsecond, it looked like ol' Olby had a point--that is, until he himself was busted by PMSNBC management for doing the exact same thing by giving maximum allowable donations to Democrat Inner Party members Raul Grijalva and Jack Conway. Ahhhh...I love the smell of hypocrisy in the morning.....


The third Cheesie category is: Most Ignored News Story By The Lamestream Media of 2010....and the winner is : The 10/2 One Nation Rally!

Since its inception, the Tea Party was considered a "dangerous", "racist", "extremist" group by the Lamestream Media. Every sign found at a Tea Party rally was carefully inspected for calls to overthrow the Big Mommy Regime in DC. Yet, when the Communist Party USA and the Democratic Socialists joined together with Chairman Obama's Organizing for America to throw the Stalinite Shindig of 10/2, one could hear only crickets instead of criticism from the Lamestream Media. In other words, as far as the Lamestreamers are concerned, communism is A-OK, fighting for God-given Constitutional rights is not. Journalism in the United States isn't just dead, it's Julius Caesar like dead.


Finally, we here at Absolutely Nobama would like to give out the very first Cheesie Lifetime Achievement Award. Needless to say, the winner of this award will be instantly recognizable in all 57 states. He's the one he's been waiting for, the one who will bring "collective salvation to America"....Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Chairman Barack Hussein Obama!

In 2010, our racsally Dear Leader:

•gave his support to the 9/11 Victory Mosque.

•signed into law the mystery meat known as Obamacare(less).

•actually said in a speech:

"We’re not, we’re not trying to push financial reform because we begrudge success that’s fairly earned. I mean, I do think at a certain point you’ve made enough money. But, you know, part of the American way is, you know, you can just keep on making it if you’re providing a good product or providing good service. We don’t want people to stop, ah, fulfilling the core responsibilities of the financial system to help grow our economy".

•sent more troops to Haiti (10,000) to deal with the earthquake than to defend our southern border (1200).

•sent the exact number of troops to Haiti that he short changed General Stanley McChrystal in Afghanistan. (McChrystal asked for 40,000 and received 30,000 before his public firing.)

•lumped together small business owners barely earning $250,000 and billionaires with his initial refusal to continue the Bush Tax Cuts.

A socialist record for the ages indeed.


God help us all.

No comments: