Wednesday, March 10, 2010

What'sa Massa You ?

Another week, another Progressivevik from the socialist dystopia known as New York goes down in flames.

In case your cable is down, or you've been hiding in a cave with Osama, Eric Massa (S-NY) is the latest sexual deviant from the Rotten Apple to step down. The freshman Congressman has resigned in disgrace after it came out that he was doing his best Mark Foley imitation and was sexually harrassing one of his male staffers. Unlike Charlie Rangel, at least Massa is going to be interesting on his way to to the Scrap Heap of Progressivevik Failure. Forget the laws of Omerta when it comes to this guy. Like Sammy The Bull, Massa's naming names.

In a bizarre monologue that would confuse Glenn Beck, Massa states that the Socialist Democrat party dumped him because he had previously voted against Cap and Trade and Obamacareless. He even cited an episode where a buck naked Rahm Emmanuel poked him in the chest while trying to intimidate the hapless Congressman in the locker room at the Congressional Gym. (On a side note, why the hell do we have to pay for a gym for these people ? With their $165,000 salaries, these mopes could afford to go to LA Fitness, right ? Not every member of Congress goes to the gym, so why should we, as tax payers, pay for it ? Judging by the beached whale photos that have surfaced of Charlie Rangel, it's pretty apparent he's not going to the gym, that's for sure.)

The funny thing is, I believe Massa's story and I also believe the stories about him. I do believe that the beady-eyed Steny Hoyer leaked the story about Massa's escapades, just like I believe they're true. I also believe the Socialist Democrat party dumped Massa for his refusal to go along with the program. Remember, this is the party of the Horny Hick Bill Clinton. This is the party of John "Baby's Daddy" Edwards. This is also the party of Peter "Lesser Known Baby's Daddy" Orzag. They can always absorb scandals like this and come out smelling like a rose. That's how I know Massa is right when he says he was dumped for not goosestepping in lockstep with the rest of the Progressiveviks. The Progressiveviks are known for their deviant, Caligula-like behavior. What's one more log on the fire ? Even more puzzling, Massa didn't blame the Conservatives or the Tea Parties for his troubles. He went right to the source: Chairman Obama, his hitman Deadfish, and the beady-eyed Steny Hoyer.

You know, it's funny how things work out. Our Dear Leader Chairman Obama promised us proles transparency, and finally it has come to pass. We were given the transparency to view how innately disgusting the District of Communism has become. Move over Sodom and Gamorrah, we have Washington DC. It's such a travesty that the seat of our government, named after the man who defeated the British Empire against all odds to give us Freedom and Liberty, has become a toilet full of poop-ulism and used condoms. I hate to be graphic, but this little episode has shaken my remaining belief that America can still succeed despite the failures of our "leadership". How can we even remotely succeed if our "leaders" are no better than feral alley cats ?

So...What'sa Massa You, eh ? Gotta no respect ?

Ah, Washington, shut uppa you face!

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